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Could You Grow Your Family Through Foster Care?

Foster-Adoptive-Families-AdoptUsKids

You are raising your kids and you think your family is complete. But, there are many children living in foster care who may need you.

These kids have no stable place to lay their heads at night and are living in the midst of uncertainty.

There are many older children waiting and wondering if they will ever have a loving family to call their own before they age out of the system at 18 years old.

Could you be the one to offer them the certainty that they long for?

May is National Foster Care Month and over 400,000 kids are in foster care here in the United States at no fault of their own. NO child should have to grow up without a family to love and care for them.

We all know this. We get this. We fully believe this.

We feel sad that there are children living in our country in foster care. But, what can we do about it?

Make foster care personal to you. 

Make a decision to stop just reading the stories and waiting for someone else to step up.

Stop feeling bad for these boys and girls in need and instead take action to impact a child living in foster care.

Our family has been on a nine-year journey of fostering, mentoring and adopting from the foster care system so our hearts live in this arena.

Childrens-Heart-Gallery-Foster-Care-Photo-Shoot

Do you know that there are children who have to go to an event where they pull donated clothes from a trash bag and put them on to take photos in the hopes of their online profile catching your eye?

These kids have no choice but to get dressed up and smile for the camera hoping that some loving adult will see their picture on the web and want to care for them forever. This breaks my heart. Does it break yours?

National-Adoption-Day-Foster-Care-Arizona

I met our son we adopted in 2016 from one of the Children’s Heart Gallery events.

Because when you see these precious children with your own eyes and feel their pain with your own heart, you no longer worry about how bringing them into your home may interfere with your current family dynamic.

You no longer care that you don’t have much extra time, energy, or money. You just know you’ll figure it out because you have to. You’ll decide to let go of the fear and excuses that have kept you from engaging in foster care in the first place.

I know what it feels like to want to help these children but instead, choose not to because the journey can be inconvenient and uncomfortable. Foster care can be messy and hard.

Let’s not fool ourselves though, our biological kids can be messy, hard, and inconvenient at times too.

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Our friends who run our foster care support group at church- the Bartolini Family!

Foster families are not amazing, they are amazingly courageous

When people hear we have adopted from foster care, the number one response is YOU ARE AMAZING.

Not so much. Truth be told, we feel pretty ill-equipped and imperfect most days.

Why are we amazing?

We had an extra room in our home. An extra seat at the table. Extra sheets. Extra this and extra that.

But, most importantly we had extra love in our hearts. God did not give our family all the extras to not share with others- especially kids who need a safe, loving place to fall even if for a few days.

We are not amazing, but we certainly are brave. That’s what we should be telling our foster and adoptive families. You are amazingly courageous because that, I believe, we all are.

We need a little more brave in this world. I hear a lot of people say that they’ve always wanted to foster or adopt. Really? Then why have you allowed your excuses to stop you? You are missing out and so is that waiting child. Climb that mountain.

We’re not meant to get to the end of our lives comfortable. Never risking, never growing, never loving more, and never truly impacting lives outside of the confines of our homes.

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Our beautiful friends in California- the Myers Family!

Maybe you’ve thought about getting involved with foster care in some capacity, but you’re not sure where to begin?

If you are drawn or feel called to foster care or adoption, then let’s get you in the ring. There are some pretty amazing people in there who will come alongside you. Seek them out. I didn’t know anyone who had done foster care or adopted before our family began this journey. I now know many selfless people who are changing lives in the foster care system daily.

We’re all meant to make a difference in this world. In order to make an impact, you have to take action. You can’t just want it or say I’ll do it later. Sometimes you have to jump into the crazy and just do it. Let go of the excuses and your fears. Trust in God’s process and timing.

For now, take the first step. Go to an orientation class and see where it leads you. Perhaps to mentoring? To fostering? To adoption? To volunteering?

Check out AdoptUSKids to learn more about how you can get involved today.

In Arizona, we are licensed with AASK and you can check out their orientation schedule here.

Won’t you be someone who makes a difference in the life of a foster care child? 

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The unfortunate truth of one of the teen girls I mentored.

What questions do you have about fostering or adding to your family through adoption?

7 replies
  1. Russ
    Russ says:

    Awesome!
    Love the fact that ‘amazing’ and ‘messy’ can exist at the same time. So true!! Foster & Adoptive parents don’t have to be perfect…just willing and committed.

    Reply
  2. Nancy Petit
    Nancy Petit says:

    This made me cry!!! So happy for you and your beautiful family… congratulations & may God always bless and protect you & your family.

    Reply
  3. Maris
    Maris says:

    Where would you point someone who doesn’t wish to become a parent but would like to mentor, or volunteer with kids in foster care?

    Reply
    • Amy Carney
      Amy Carney says:

      Hi Maris! Where do you live so I can better help you? There are so many fantastic opportunities out there to make a difference. Thanks for your willingness to help! Amy

      Reply
  4. Ron Booker
    Ron Booker says:

    I like how you mentioned that the adoption process can take up to 12 months depending on the lawyers and court dates. I have a friend that said that she was thinking of adopting a kid since she can have any. I’m going to let her know about looking for foster care in case she wants to adopt a child in need.

    Reply
  5. Eli Richardson
    Eli Richardson says:

    Wow, I really enjoyed reading your article about how we can start helping foster kids. Recently, my wife and I have been thinking about adopting, but we have no idea where to start. We believe it’s important to help our community, so we think we’ll follow your advice and seek an orientation class, and we’ll see where that takes us. We really appreciate you telling us about your experience having a foster family.

    Reply
  6. Curtis Butler
    Curtis Butler says:

    I didn’t know that an orientation class can help you determine if adoption is right for you. I remember my sister mentioning that she would like to adopt a child this year. She should find a professional that can help her understand the legal steps that need to be taken.

    Reply

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