Over the holiday break, my husband and I continuously threatened to shut off our kids’ cell phone data plans, the wifi, the cable box- anything that might get our relaxing students to do something other than stare at a screen in their downtime.

How badly we want 2018 to be the Year of Successfully Parenting Our Screenagers.

Our family has tech boundaries. We have rules for the devices. We even made a cell phone contract when we allowed our kids to purchase their first phones three years ago. How come it’s so hard for our teenagers to follow the guidelines we’ve set and even more difficult for us as parents to uphold them?

Parenting children on screens can be absolutely maddening. 

Thank goodness for the release of the new book Be The Parent, Please Stop Banning Seesaws and Start Banning SnapChat- Strategies for Solving Real Parenting Problems because I need all of the advice I can get when it comes to this subject!

Be-the-parent-please-book-review-technology

When I was asked if I wanted to receive a copy of Be the Parent, Please to review- they had me at the title alone. Ban Snapchat. Where do I sign up? Be the Parent. Yes, please. I’m all over that. I know it’s my ‘job’ to lead my children well, but somehow I still feel that I’m failing them when it comes to tackling technology.

Author Naomi Schaefer Riley is an acclaimed author and mother of three. She brings her experience, research, and no-nonsense candor to the book to help families retake control over technology’s influence.

I am so grateful for the wisdom I gain from books like Riley’s and other books I’ve read on parenting kids on screens.

ipad-summertime-on-the-couch

Riley challenges us to examine how we really want our children to interact with the world and gives us realistic tips on how to accomplish those goals. Be the Parent, Please motivates us with oh so many reasons to take back control of the screens in 2018.

The book is full of real-life relatable situations and lots of research to get us thinking about being the parent we really want to be. I love that the author talks about the benefits of technology free sleepaway summer camp. Being in nature without devices for several weeks is just one of the many reasons to consider sending your screenagers to camp.

It’s up to us to lead our children well this year and this book is a perfect start to helping us figure out how exactly we want to do that.

Leave a comment below on why you need to read this book!

One lucky winner will be selected at random to receive a hard copy of Be the Parent, Please by mail. US residents only, please!

Winner will be announced on January 23!

 

New-Years-Eve-Family-Party

Ushering in the New Year as a family can be a blast with just a little extra effort on your part. Here are six ways to entertain the kids and easily make your family’s New Year’s Eve party memorable for all.

1. Make bags for the kids to open each hour up until midnight

I usually start letting the kids open goodie bags beginning at 8:00. These bags give them something to look forward to as they count down each hour until midnight. Each bag contains a variety of poppers, sparklers, noisemakers, candy, or treats.

2. Turn your Christmas tree into a New Year one

We always leave our tree up until after the new year, so turning it into a New Year tree is a lot of fun! I love this idea of adding balloons, filled with money and fortunes, to pop at midnight. You probably need to have a faux tree like ours to do that though.

3. Play fun, interactive games

New-Years-Eve-Family-Party-Game-Ideas

We always play Left, Center, Right using pennies or quarters to make it a little more fun for everyone. Other games we love to play are Telestrations, Speak Out, and Wits and Wagers which get the creativity and laughs flowing!

We’ve even done a family puzzle contest with dollar store puzzles, to see who can complete theirs first!

4. Serve festive drinks

How about a fun Torani Soda Bar setup? Or sparkling cider in plastic stemware is always a fun option for the kids.

5. Make vision hats or choose your One Word for the year

A friend gave me the idea of turning our New Years’ hats into walking vision boards. Such a fun idea! Have everyone cut out pictures and words from magazines representing what they hope for in the new year and glue them to their party hat! Or start talking about your One Word for the new year.

6.  Family conversation starters

GET YOUR NYE FAMILY CONVERSATION STARTERS HERE!

  • Cut these up and put them in a New Years Hat.
  • Pass them around and have each person answer the question they draw.
  • OR print the entire list (also included with the FREE printable) and have everyone answer all 20 questions!

1. Who is someone you enjoyed meeting this year?

2. What accomplishment are you the most proud of this year?

3. What do you wish you spent less time doing in 2023?

4. Where was your favorite spot to hang out in 2023?

5. Who helped you be a better person this year?

6. What moment from 2023 brings a smile to your face?

7. Who did you love visiting with this year?

8. What is your biggest disappointment from 2023?

9. Who most inspired you in 2023 and why?

10. What is something new you tried this year?

11. How did you help someone during 2023?

12. How did you relax this year?

13. What’s something sad that happened in 2023?

14. What was a favorite gift you received this year?

15. How were you courageous this year?

16. Who made you laugh the most in 2023?

17. What item of yours got a lot of use in 2023?

18. What’s something that surprised you this year?

19. What are you most grateful for from 2023?

20. What was the best place you visited in 2023?

Happy New Year Friend! 

During the holiday season, the watchful eyes of our children observe not just the presents under the tree but also how we live out our values. They pay attention to what we spend our money and time on. And they feel our stress, or peace, during December and throughout the year.

What our children learn to value at Christmastime, they learn from us as parents.

In this festive season, let’s shift our focus from material gifts to those that impart lasting lessons and shape the character of our sons and daughters.

Are you focused on gifting your children lifelong values or material items this holiday season?

5-Gifts-To-Give-Your-Child-At-Christmas

Here are 5 gifts to give your child this Christmas season

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Born-To-Be-Wild-Book-by-Dr.-Jess-Shatkin

It’s a boy. A boy. And yet another boy.

The ultrasound confirmed that I was officially a Mom of triplet sons which meant I was going to have my work cut out for me. It wasn’t the dirt and grime or nonstop action of raising young boys that scared me. The thought of having three sons who would grow into teenagers with a natural ‘need for speed’ is what intimidated me.

Our trio is in high school and the book Born to Be Wild interested me to review because I want to know if we can really help our teenagers navigate risky choices more successfully.

Can parents make a difference when it comes to minimizing risk in their child’s life?

Teenagers-Born-To-Be-Wild-Book-Dr.-Jess-Shatkin

According to Born to Be Wild Author, Dr. Jess. P. Shatkin, we can absolutely make a difference by being proactive in our parenting.

Shatkin is a professor of child and adolescent psychiatry and pediatrics at New York University School of Medicine and also a Dad of two teenagers. His book tells us why teens take risks, and how we can help keep them safer.

How can we positively influence our teenager to make the best choices?

When our kids are young, we need to make many choices for them. As they age toward the teenage years, we need to curate their choices. Adolescence is an enormous developmental opportunity. During these years, we must allow our kids to practice all of the many things that they will one day need to do independently as adults, but we as parents must also continue providing close supervision.

How do we help our kids make healthy decisions when it comes to risky behaviors?

Dr. Shatkin recommends we take Wayne Gretzky’s advice and skate to where the puck will be. See the reality of the road ahead and be proactive in designing strategies to reduce upcoming risk factors in your child’s life.

We’re only kidding ourselves if we choose to believe that our adolescents won’t face risky situations each day. Instead of waiting for those risks to happen, we can anticipate the dangers and be ready for them.

Texting while driving, binge drinking, bullying, unprotected sex, vaping and many other risk factors are real concerns and keep us worried about our growing adolescents today. Being able to protect teens from dangers on the internet should also be a top priority for parents.

Here are 6 proactive parenting strategies for reducing risk in our teens’ lives.

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Growing up I was fearful of roller coasters, bees, and thunderstorms.

Our children are growing up scared of being shot or blown up while at school, the movies, church or at an entertainment venue.

When I was young we used to practice tornado and fire drills at school.

Today, kids are taught to silently hide from gunmen under their desks during classroom lockdown drills.

It’s an unfair and disturbing world that we are raising our kids in today.

How do we raise kids to not be fearful walking out the door of their home?

How do we acknowledge the truth of painful events without frightening our kids?

Our family had a trip planned to Las Vegas over our school fall break. Little did we know that tragedy would strike the city just before we were to head there. Should we even still go? Staying in the safety of our own home feels like a better choice nowadays, doesn’t it? Knowing that we can lock ourselves away to be left alone and be shielded from any wrongdoing is much more appealing than being a possible victim of a lunatic.

But, we must help our kids to feel safe in an unsafe world by continuing to live life to the fullest.

Our family traveled to Las Vegas as planned because we want our kids to see that there is, and always will be, more beauty, than evil, in the world. We won’t hide or ignore the truth of the tragedy that occurred there, but we will certainly balance it with joy, love and laughter.

Seven-Magic-Mountains-Henderson-LasVegas-Nevada

Have you visited the Seven Magic Mountains two-year art exhibit in the middle of the desert just outside of the Las Vegas strip?

How do we talk to our kids about tragic events without making them fearful and scared in their daily lives?

I would much rather pad, protect, shelter and hide the pain and suffering in the world so that my children can live a carefree existence. The problem is that isn’t responsible, nor is it teaching our children the truth when we ignore the suffering and heartache that innocent people have endured at the hands of evil.

We shouldn’t shelter our kids from the truth but introduce today’s painful realities age appropriately.

My friend, Ashley Barden, is a mother of three and was amongst the crowd enjoying the Route 91 Harvest Festival until the evening turned fatal on October 2. Luckily, she and her friends were among the fortunate ones to make it out of the venue alive.

Ashley and her friend, Cassey, just minutes before the shooting began.

Separated from her friends, Ashley ran out of the outdoor venue to an executive airport hanger where almost 60 people hid in a storage room until police released them around 2:30 in the morning. Shortly after she was able to fly home to Arizona and back to her children. What did Ashley tell her kids about her scary experience?

Not much. Fortunately, her kids are young (11, 6 and 3) and overall unaware of the magnitude of the tragedy that their mother was involved in…. for today. Ashley wants to raise fearless kids and is adamant that she will encourage herself and her trio to live life doing what they love.

We must not raise fearful kids, but faithful ones instead.

Our kids were uneasy to go stay in a high rise hotel on the Las Vegas strip understandably after what had just occurred. We talked about how God has us and that we can rest in Him. We must acknowledge that evil unfortunately exists but we cannot let fear override our faith. Our family drove by the site of the mass shooting so that we could see with our own eyes the area where the tragedy happened and answer any questions our kids had.

On our RV trip around the USA, we visited the site of the OKC bombing. Our kids have seen where President Kennedy was shot in Dallas, Texas and they have visited the September 11 Memorials and Museums in NYC.

I wish evil and hatred weren’t a part of the world we live in, but unfortunately, they are. We have to wrap our head around the pain, talk about it age appropriately with our kids, honor those who’ve senselessly lost their lives and continue to pray for and help our hurting people together.

We must lead our kids from a fearless place so that they can feel secure to live the carefree childhood that they need and deserve. We must show children how to live faithful lives instead of fearful ones.

What can we do to help ourselves be safe the next time we, or our children, are in a large public venue? Ashley recommends that you know where your exit options are and have an escape plan in mind, God forbid something happens while you’re out living your life.

gifts-for-16th-birthday

How does this…

triplet-sons-driving-16

Turn into this… in a few blinks of an eye.

I’m not sure how we’re already at this stage in our family, but I have to say these guys are way more fun now than they ever were 16 years ago!

The big question I’m asked is did we buy them three cars for their milestone birthday?

Not a chance.

If there was no car with a bow, no epic party or promised iPhone X, then what did we give our 16-year-olds besides a little cash?

Sometimes we can get so caught up in what material item to buy or what Pinterest worthy event to throw, that we forget what’s really important to give our kids- the gift of lifelong values.

gifts-for-16th-birthday

1. The Gift of Desire

All my sons desired for their birthday was to get their drivers’ licenses and hit the open road. They wanted the gift of freedom as they turned 16, and that’s what we gave them- a ride to the DMV.

There was no party, no promise of the latest electronic or a new car. We had simply instilled in our boys the desire to set up their own appointments online to take the driving test the minute they could on their birthday. I wasn’t even aware that you could do that. Good for them.

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Parents-Need-Self-Control-This-Back-to-School-Season-Students

We know it’s our kids’ work to do, but we remind them constantly of what needs to be accomplished before school starts back up.

We see no hope for our child to get their reading and math work done if we don’t help them along.

Helpful, not helpful.

Our high schoolers just picked up their freshman and sophomore schedules this week. Some classes and teachers make them happy, while others make them cringe.

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Parents-Should-Not-Pay-University-Laundry-To-do-Task-For-College-Students

Teach your kids how to sort, separate and put their dirty clothes in the wash now.

Show your children how to treat stains, measure detergent and explain the importance of removing lint from the dryer vent after every cycle.

Don’t turn your son’s sports socks right side out, since you aren’t the one who took them off like that.

Parents should teach their kids how to do their own laundry instead of paying someone to handle the task for them.

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Kanakuk-Summer-Camp-Stengthen-Kids-Family

There’s nothing I love more than the week after my kids get home from sleep away summer camp. Our kids hang around home reminiscing about their few weeks away in the Missouri humidity while we tend to their bug bites, bumps, and bruises.

One is nursing a painful ingrown toenail; one is peeling profusely from his sunburn while healing a sprained ankle; another has strained and cut up knees from who knows what and one has no idea how he got the open wounds all up his arm.

Proof of time away at summer camp.

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If the house goes up in flames, I want my people, my scrapbooks and my sand bottles.

Forget the jewelry, just grab the sand.

My sand bottle collection represents memories I’ve gathered over the past decade of my life.

The 46 unique bottles grace our master bedroom fireplace mantel and represent travels I’ve made near and far with my family, husband, girlfriends, or by myself. Each and every bottle is full of earthly treasure attached to stories of travel and exploration.

Our homes are a haven where our family story is told through what graces our walls, shelves, and mantels. Everything we choose to display in our house is a reminder of what we deem important.

Our homes are a tangible way to tell the story of who we are and where we’ve been. Look around. This is us.

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