Do you know the 5 Languages of LOVE?

With Valentines Day just around the corner and red hearts adorning my home, love is in the air. No matter our age or stature in life, we all share a common thread in our need to feel loved to best succeed in life. But, how good are we at demonstrating our love to those who mean the most to us?

The 5 Love Languages is an amazing tool that I use in my daily life. It’s truly life changing to figure out the love languages of your children and spouse/partner. Different people express love in different ways. This Valentines Day your loved one may buy you flowers when what you really want is a romantic dinner out on the town. Perhaps you’ll cook him a home made meal when he really would just love to hear how much you adore him. Or maybe you both want to go to one of the most romantic places in the world, New York City. Where there is plenty of things to do for both of you to enjoy your Valentine’s day. The only problem is that you haven’t told each other. And the miscommunicated love goes on and on… unless we learn one another’s love language. I think quotes are a great way to show how you’re feeling to one another and an easy way to start learning each other’s language of love. There are loads of quotes at lifehacks on this topic which you can use to express yourself.

I think it’s even more important to learn the love languages of our children. Go figure that each of my four kids receive love in four different ways. I knew their personalities differed but who knew that the way they feel loved is uniquely their own as well. Definitely keeps me on my toes!

According to Gary Chapman, the author of the 5 Love Languages Series, there are five specific languages of love:

1. Words of Affirmation – This language uses words to affirm other people. These are the people who are always complimenting you and showing you love through their words. This is definitely not my love language, but it seems that it’s a very popular one with many of my friends and one of my sons. It’s very important to tell these individuals how wonderful they are any chance you get!

2. Acts of Service- For these people, actions speak louder than words. Dad’s love language is Acts of Service. We all know this and love serving him coffee as this makes him feel loved. Going out of your way to do things for individuals with this love language is important!

3. Receiving Gifts – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift. Do you know that person who is always giving you thoughtful gifts? This son shows his love through buying his little Sis a surprise gift in New York City.

4. Quality Time – This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. Yep, this is me. Make a plan to spend one on one time with me and my tank is full! I’m even willing to take silly selfies if that’s what spending time with my eleven year old daughter entails.

5. Physical Touch – To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. Do you have a child who loves to cuddle? The one who is always pushing around his siblings and giving high fives to his friends. Physical touch is the way to their heart.

HOW DO I FIGURE OUT MY LOVE LANGUAGE?

Start thinking about what might be your personal love language and then those of your family members. What resonates with you when you look at our moments above?

Observe how you most often express love to others. Is your first instinct to hug someone or express to them how wonderful they look?

What do you complain about most often? That is good insight into what your love language may be as well. Your complaints reveal your inner desires. What do you request of your spouse most often?

According to Chapman, sometimes there are certain life situations that make the other love languages extremely attractive. For example, your primary love language may be Words of Affirmation, but if you are the mother of three preschool children, then Acts of Service by your husband may become extremely attractive to you. If he gives you only Words of Affirmation and does not offer to help you with household responsibilities, you may begin to feel “I’m tired of hearing you say, ‘I love you’ when you never lift a hand to help me.” For those years, it may appear that Acts of Service has become your primary love language. However, if Words of Affirmation cease, you will quickly know that this continues to be your primary love language.

This Valentines Day have each member of your family take the brief online quiz to see what your love languages are. It’s fun and free! Then grab one of the books to learn more and start spreading the love. Only this time you will be equipped to show it in the way someone might need it the most! Happy Valentines Day to you!!