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DRIVEALOGUE- A Tool For Driving Brave Family Conversations GIVEAWAY

Want to know what your child is dealing with out in the world when it comes to peer relationships? Their self-concept? How about their thoughts on difficult topics like sexuality, social media, technology, or drugs and alcohol?

Thanks to Adam Brooks new product, Drivealogue, parents now have a more natural way to discuss tough and timely issues with their kids. His conversation starter packs get us adults intentionally talking to our children about topics more meaningful than what we ate for lunch or what grade was achieved on that math test.

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Adam Brooks’ new product, Drivealogue, challenges parents to have brave conversations with their kids.

Brooks, the founder of Youth Awareness and Safety, was concerned about the heightened rate of youth suicide in Arizona and wanted to make a product that would allow parents to engage in tough conversations with their children proactively.

“My cards were designed to have meaningful, brave conversations that we may not even want to have, but that we desperately have to have if we’re going to keep our kids safe today,” said Brooks.

5 Things Parents Must Tell Their Children

Brooks came up with the concept of using his card game in the car because he had read that kids were more likely to open up and freely communicate with adults if they didn’t have to make direct eye contact. Not only that, but today’s reality finds parents spending more time in the car shuttling kids around to activities, so why not make a product to help us forge more meaningful conversations during our time on the road together.

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Drivealogue features three unique card decks meant for different age groups- for elementary, middle and high school-aged kids.

The cards feature questions like:

“What would you do if someone sent you a nude photo?”

“What would you do if someone who you were friends with in elementary school started ignoring you in middle school?”

8 Ways to Combat the Stress of Growing Up in Today’s Competitive Culture

There are also many lighthearted cards scattered throughout the decks as well, with questions like “What if you started a video channel. What would it be about?”

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At $20 each, Drivealogue card decks make the perfect family hostess gift this holiday season! To order or learn more, click HERE!

ENTER TO WIN! Want to win a Drivealogue deck? Comment below why you think Drivealogue could benefit your family in 2019! Also, be sure to mention if you want the elementary, middle or high school version of the cards. There will be three overall winners (one for each age category) drawn by random on December 12! Good luck friend!

 

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5 Truths ‘Instant Family’ Exposes about Foster Care, Adoption

November is National Adoption Month and a perfect time for this weekend’s release of the new movie “Instant Family.” I was able to recently preview the film and shared my thoughts on why you should go see “Instant Family” over at Raising Arizona Kids Magazine.

As a foster-adoptive parent, I laughed and cried my way through the entire movie so I wanted to share some of the main takeaways from the movie that resonated with me.

5 Truths ‘Instant Family’ Exposes About Foster Care, Adoption

1. Imperfect Parents Needed

The movie “Instant Family” is not only funny, but it is full of heartwarming and heartbreaking scenes about the imperfect realities of navigating the journey of foster care and adoption. The film brilliantly shows that it doesn’t take perfect parents to do this, only loving and willing ones who preferably have a sense of humor. 

AdoptUsKids end their public service announcements with the tagline, “You don’t have to be perfect to be a perfect parent,” reassuring parents that even if they are not perfect, they can provide the stability and security that children in foster care need and deserve.

Check out my “Instant Family” movie review HERE.

2. Foster Youth Transport Their Belongings in Trash Bags

In the movie, you see the children carrying their belongings in large black trash bags, which is exactly how it happens the majority of the time.

Thankfully, there are organizations nationwide focused on providing bags for foster children to use so that they can move and transport what little they have with dignity. Check out these organizations who are working to change this- Together We Rise, Suitcases for Hope, and Foster Love Project.

3. Teenagers Are Often Overlooked

Even though Anders did not actually adopt a teenager in real life, he did an excellent job in the movie of portraying the truth that teenagers who currently live in the foster care system need and deserve a loving home and family too. Of the more than 5,000 children in foster care actively photo listed on adoptuskids.org, 43 percent are 15–18 years old.

I used dialogue journals to communicate with my teenage mentee. This is not only her truth but the unfortunate truth of many teens living in foster care today.

4. Community Support and Loving Relationships is Key 

The orientation and support group scenes in the movie were some of my favorites as I related to the importance of being in community with others who were going through similar scenarios in their home. I loved how the movie showed the same adults moving through the orientation, to the licensing classes, to the support group and on to the courtroom for adoptions, yet I know reality tells a different story.

Clint Williams, Family Resource Development Specialist for AASK – Aid to Adoption of Special Kids in Arizona tells us that only 7% of the people who contact the agency for information about community foster care, end up getting licensed.

For 2017, AASK shows:

  • 1206 people inquired about foster care-adoption by telephone call or through the website
  • 523 people attended an information session
  • 205 completed intake application process
  • 120 individuals started classes 
  • 86 actually became Licensed.
  • Even fewer go forward to take in a foster placement or adopt.

The kids need more people to persevere through all of the requirements so that they may get a chance at growing up in a secure and loving home.

5. You Can Meet the Children at Adoption Fairs

In the movie, husband and wife (Pete and Ellie) meet the teenager they would later adopt, along with her two siblings, at an adoption fair. This is exactly how director Anders and his wife, met their children, but not every state has adoption fairs as depicted in the movie.

In Arizona, we do not have ‘adoption fairs’ but if you have a level one fingerprint clearance card you can volunteer at Children’s Heart Gallery and hang out with the kids who are legally free for adoption. But, you will have to be licensed to adopt any of the children.

I met our son at a Children’s Heart Gallery event in 2016.

The agency Christian Family Care does “match events” where they invite certified/licensed families (who all have clearance) to attend a bowling party or celebration at the zoo and have kids in need of a forever family attend the event as well.  “It’s an informal way for these families to meet the kids and also get to see them in a fun environment and not just read about them on paper and determine if they are a good fit or not beforehand,” said Lisa Marks, an Adoption Recruitment Specialist in Arizona. “It’s also a way for people to get to know how great the older kids are as a majority of certified families/licensed families are hoping for babies, toddlers or little kids.”

If you are interested in learning more about how you can get involved in helping a foster child in Arizona, check out AASK’s schedule of upcoming information sessions HERE.

For resources for foster care-adoption nationally check out: https://www.davethomasfoundation.org; https://www.adoptuskids.org

 

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Want to be a Happier Parent this School Year? Book Review and Giveaway!

What would it look like to be a happier parent this school year?

Is it really possible for us to find more happiness amidst the chaos of the hectic school morning routine, the homework, the sibling drama and once again telling your kids to put away the screens while eating breakfast?

My friend, Lori, exudes happiness in her annual back-to-school photo tradition! Isn’t she the best?

New York Times contributor and writer KJ Dell’Antonia’s tells us HOW we can regain our happiness in parenthood in her brand new book, How to Be A Happier Parent- Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute.

As a mother of four, KJ found herself wondering if this whole parenthood thing had to be so difficult on most days. She wanted to enjoy motherhood more than she was. But, the workload was overwhelming. She questioned why she wasn’t more satisfied with her life as a parent. So she set out to find out how we can bring more happiness, and even fun to the ordinary days that make up the measure of our lives.

I consider myself overall to be a happy parent. But, I learned long ago that getting in a school pick up or drop off line was not setting me up for success in the parental happiness department. Neither was helping with math homework or making school lunches for my capable 16-year-olds. So, instead, I taught my people long ago how to be in charge of their own existence.

And low and beyond this is #1 on KJ’s list of what happier parents do well.

  1. Shift from heavier involvement to fostering independence in their children as they become more capable. (Stop doing these things for your teen this school year)
  2. They don’t put their children’s everyday needs before their own. (Can I get a hallelujah?)
  3. They look for the good in the day to day experiences. (Yes, you too can find joy in the pb&j sandwich. Dig deep.)
  4. They know what’s really important and what’s just noise and fury. (Yep, we gotta remember not to major in the minor.)

I love everything about this book- from the cute cover design to choosing the chapter I need right now to help with a problem area in our family. If it’s meal times, chores, sibling rivalry, discipline, screens… you name the thief of your parental joy and it’s most likely in here.

Through interviews with educators and experts along with her personal stories, KJ gives us lots of helpful tips, strategies, and inspirations to shift our mindsets and create new habits in order to find more happiness in our role as Mom or Dad today.

And just because my capable children wouldn’t want me to be too happy, they continue to leave me plenty of reminders that I am still dearly needed.

With a new school year upon us, How to Be A Happier Parent is a well-timed reminder that a satisfying family life isn’t about hauling kids around and eventually dropping them off at destination success. It’s about finding real happiness during our journey of parenthood, and this book will help you figure out just how to do that.

COMMENT TO WIN – HOW TO BE A HAPPIER PARENT BOOK

KJ sent me a copy of her brand new book How to Be A Happier Parent- Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute. to give away to one of you lucky readers!

Comment below on why you want to be a happier parent for your chance to win! One lucky winner will be chosen at random on October 19. Must be a US resident to win.

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9 Ways to Deliberately Design Your Summer

Childhood is short.
Summer is even shorter.
Eighteen summers is all we get.

How will your family spend this precious summer season?

I wish our summer was made up of fireflies rather than Fortnite.
I wish that we could go off on big family adventures instead of being stuck in 107-degree Arizona heat for baseball.
I wish my kids still found me as exciting as they do strangers on SnapChat, Instagram, and YouTube.

I know this 16th summer of ours matters yet how do we make the most of it despite our realities and circumstances?

We must decide to deliberately design our summers.

While June, July, and August may be perfect for lazy days and relaxation, we mustn’t make the mistake of aimlessly drifting through the summer months without purposely making a proactive plan for our family.

What exactly is it that you want and need?

I love that summer provides my teenagers mornings to sleep in and time to rest and recover from their normally stressful high school scheduled programming. Yet, more downtime equates to more screen time if we’re not mindful.

How can we get our kids off screens and make this summer count?

9 Ways to Strengthen Your Family this Summer

1. Teach Life Skills
With more free time, we can take the opportunity to teach our children how to do their own laundry, cook, clean or change a tire. Perhaps you finally open that bank account or help your child start a little business. Or simply teach them to tie their shoes or handwrite, address and mail a thank you note.

What life skill will you purposely teach your child this summer?

2. Prioritize Play
Summer is the time to strengthen family relationships and sibling bonds. Deliberately purchase new indoor and outdoor games that give your family members a reason to play together. Check out my Parent on Purpose Amazon store for our family favorites.

Where are your family playgrounds?

Fun can be found at your dining table for card games or going to the pool. Perhaps it’s fishing at the pond or hiking in the mountains. Maybe it’s bike riding to seek out geocaches together in your hometown. One of our favorite family playgrounds is the beach in California.

Where does your family enjoy playing together? Go there.

3. Strengthen family values and purpose
Summer is a great time to strengthen family values and purpose which may have gotten buried under the reality of a busy school year.

We send our kids to sleep away summer camp for a couple of weeks to strengthen every aspect of their lives as well as for my husband and me to begin to successfully separate from our children.

Our family also goes on a medical mission trip to the Yucatan to serve the beautiful, yet impoverished, community together. We also seek out ways to help locally when we can as well.

What is it that you do that says this is who we are as a family. This is what WE do.

What have you purposely planned this summer to strengthen your family purpose?

4. Cultivate an atmosphere of growth
Summer can be a time for family members to learn new skills as well as strengthen existing ones. Take advantage of camps, classes, clinics or unique opportunities that can help grow passions and personal interests.

What is something new each family member can learn this summer?
What passion will each person continue to pursue and grow?

5. Sacrifice personal pursuits
Make sure you are also willing to sacrifice personal pursuits once in awhile to carve out family time together. Don’t be afraid to have your child miss some training, classes, practices or opportunities so that your family can enjoy quality time to bond together.

What are you willing to sacrifice this summer so your family can spend quality time together?

6. Make mindful entertainment choices
Binge watching television shows or non-stop video game play isn’t a good use of our child’s time. Sure, there may be space for mindless entertainment choices this summer, but we must purposely set boundaries on them, so they don’t consume our days.

Make reading a priority in your home this summer. If your kids have required reading for school, help them make a plan to proactively get those books finished. Be sure that your kids also see you taking the time to read as well.

What healthy entertainment choices will you choose for your family this summer?

7. Go on adventures
You don’t have to venture further than your hometown for family fun. Most of us take for granted the exciting places that surround us locally that we’ve never taken the time to visit… yet.

You don’t even have to leave the comforts of your own home to create meaningful memories either. Or maybe you’re at a stage where your family would thrive on an epic vacation.

What adventures will you create this summer that will add to your family narrative and strengthen your relationships?

8. Clean, organize and get rid of it
The summer months might be a perfect time to clean out bedrooms, closets, and garages with your kid’s help. Purposely decide where to donate your treasures. Maybe have a family garage sale to support a cause or just to have fun together earning some extra summer spending money.

Where can you purposely take your donated treasures to benefit an organization you believe in and want to support?

9. Save space for spontaneity
We don’t want to be so scheduled and entertained that we have no space for spontaneous fun this summer. Purposely leave open spots on the calendar for boredom and time to decide on a whim to take a day trip or to go try a new ice cream or donut shop.

Don’t get to the end of summer and realize that you didn’t take the time or make an effort to differentiate this special season at all.

How will you deliberately spend this summer?

Questions to Ask Yourself-

  • What does each family member need this summer to strengthen them physically, mentally, emotionally and relationally?
  • What frustrated you the most this school year? Work on improving that area this summer so when school rolls around again you may have established better habits.
  • What summer family tradition will you repeat again this year? Summer wouldn’t be summer without this…. bike rides to the bagel shop or boating on the lake. What are the simple things your family does each summer together?
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The Matheny Manifesto Book Review and Giveaway!

“You have to read this book,” said the parent sitting next to us on the sidelines of our daughters’ soccer game.“THIS is what we need more of in youth sports today.” He handed me this book and it quickly became one of my favorites.

Want to make a bigger impact on the children you are parenting, teaching or coaching?

Read The Matheny Manifesto and then act on the principles inside.

The Matheny Manifesto is a call to action for those of us leading children today.

The book is based on St. Louis Cardinals manager, Mike Matheny’s expectations, standards and beliefs that he wrote for the parents of a little league team he had signed on to coach. If he was going to lead this group of kids, he wanted the parents to know the value system and moral code that he would be coaching from.

What if we all took the time to think through what we believe and the intentions we have to lead the children in our care and then wrote out our own manifesto?

A manifesto is a statement where you can share your…

– Intentions (what you intend to do)
– Opinions (what you believe, your stance on a particular topic)
– Vision (the type of world that you dream about and wish to create)

What is The Matheny Manifesto?

Want to write your own manifesto?

“Let’s not sell ourselves short with regard to the impact we can have on the people who look up to us every day- our own kids and the kids we teach and coach,” says Matheny.  “They’re looking for someone to stand up for what is right and to make a difference in their lives. That’s what heroes can do, and it starts with having the courage to do things differently.”

Mike Matheny doesn’t believe sport is more important than family.

He doesn’t believe that every child deserves a trophy.

He believes in teaching kids reality. He believes children need to fail. He believes young athletes should be playing more than just one sport. He believes parents should be a silent source of encouragement and let the coach do his job.

How do I know this? Because Matheny took the time to write, share and live out his manifesto.

Matheny’s old school advice is a powerful reminder of what sports can teach us about winning on the field and life. This book is full of wisdom of how we can better lead our youth today to more than just personal success.

I received an email from the book’s author, Jerry Jenkins after he read one of my blog posts. He encouraged me by telling me that he had raised his three sons the same way and that I may enjoy one of the books he’s written- The Matheny Manifesto. Little did he know that his book sits on my shelf as one of my favorites!

Jenkins so graciously sent me a signed copy of The Matheny Manifesto to give away to one of you lucky readers! Since baseball season is underway and Father’s Day is just around the corner, June seemed the perfect month to give away one of my favorites.

Comment below on why you need The Matheny Manifesto for your chance to win! One lucky winner will be chosen at random on June 11. Must be a US resident.

Order a copy of The Matheny Manifesto from my Parent on Purpose Amazon store today!

www.MikeMatheny.com

www.JerryJenkins.com

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Why You Need to Go Ahead and Buy that School Yearbook

Sure it may seem like a waste of money.

Maybe our kids don’t seem to care if we purchase one or not.

It might appear as a material item that will just sit around and collect dust.

Does our child really need another school yearbook?

School yearbook sales are in significant decline today. Students seem disinterested in the costly product. Mom and Dad don’t want more stuff hanging around the house either, so they are choosing not to buy.

Is the yearbook a dying American tradition or does it still have value?

I relish this time of year when my kids bring home their yearbooks. Perhaps I have an affinity for the product because I was Editor in Chief of mine as a high school senior, but more so, it provides me parental value today. 

Those of us still buying yearbooks know we are investing in a keepsake that our child will hopefully treasure in the future. We understand that social media posts will eventually be lost yet an analog book of memories is forever. We’re also supporting and funding a group of students’ creative, hard work throughout the school year. 

What if you buy the school yearbook simply as a way to get your family members connecting today?

The hardcover Class of 2018 edition of my children’s high school yearbook sits on our coffee table surrounded by our comfy sectional couch. The book sits right where family members slowly gather around the television throughout each evening.

At this time of year, I strategically seek out an open area on the couch and begin to flip through the pages of the yearbook.

“Oh, he looks cute,” is usually all I have to say to get my freshman daughter to bound across the room to squeeze up next to me to see who in the world I could be talking about. 

“Uh, Mom. No. He is so weird. He’s in my biology class.”

Oh ok. Well, what about him? I say while pointing to a different picture. And our bonding begins….

There’s something magical about a school yearbook that allows normally off-limits conversation between my guarded daughter and myself. I can’t ask her about a friend’s Snapchat or Instagram post without coming across as intrusive or annoying. Somehow the compiled photos and stories wrapped up in this yearbook are fair game.

“Do you know her? She looks nice.”

“That doesn’t look like Michael. He has changed so much since elementary school.”

Organically the brothers can’t help but get in on the action too. They squeeze in wanting to add their personal two cents to the conversation. And the dialogue opens up between sister and brother, who typically pass in the high school hallways without even saying a word to one another.

I learn who’s funny in my child’s eyes. Who’s smart. Who’s mean. Who cheats. Who Juuls. Who kisses in the hallways. Which teachers they want for next year and which ones they hope to never see again.

The school yearbook allows us a window into our kids’ world that we may never gain access to otherwise. It is a private space somehow made public in the beauty of this hardbound memory book.

The purchase of the school yearbook may seem like a waste of money unless we understand it’s potential in the present. The compilation of photos, stories and memories inside can be a key to unlock your child’s world if you are willing to sit down with it and begin the conversation.

“He looks cute…”

Let the school yearbook be a simple and effective tool for strengthening relationships and communication in your home. We parents must purposely seek out ways to get our children off screens and into real conversation and the school yearbook is a perfect way to achieve that this time of year.

I hope that my children will value their books in the years to come, but I know I will always treasure the moments we spent laughing and talking our way through the pages year after year.

The annual school yearbook is one investment I will continue to make during this precious season called childhood and my hope is that you will too.

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3 Things to Do if your Son is Obsessed with Fortnite

My son was never a gamer. He played sports, hung out with friends and did typical dirty boy stuff.

Enter Fortnite: Battle Royale.

The popular video game is now my son’s competition of choice and playing Fortnite is his way of hanging out with friends. Even though it makes me out of my ever loving parental mind watching my offspring sit there with headphones on shooting at animated characters on a screen, I’m allowing it in our home, but not without limitation.

Playing video games should be an earned privilege, according to Dr. Lisa Strohman, Founder of Technology Wellness Center in Scottsdale.

Is playing Fortnite an earned privilege in your home?

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As summer approaches and more downtime is on the horizon, I urge my fellow parents of Fortniters to begin to set family guidelines around gaming now. 

FIRST UNDERSTAND WHY YOUR SON PLAYS FORTNITE

Belonging

Kids naturally have a need to belong and be part of the group. Playing Fortnite fulfills the human need for attachment to other people. The team approach of the popular video game is like being on a playground with friends.

It’s Addictive

There is the ability to have rankings and feel accomplishment and status, so it’s exciting…. and addicting. We must be careful that video games are not medicating our children, just as we adults might turn to alcohol, shopping or other deterrents to mask our reality.

It is ‘Free’

Battle Royale is a free game yet comes at a cost. “There is always a trade-off for the free video game, says Dr. Strohman. “It costs our child no money to begin playing, yet Epic Games collects all of our kids’ data.” Fortnite generated $223 million in March alone. What appears to be free at the onset, is costing our kids along the way.

All the Cool Kids are Playing

It doesn’t help that our sons are watching their heroes play Fortnite in their downtime. “The game industry is very savvy bringing in the celebrity aspect to further entice our kids and create even more frenzy around it,” says Dr. Strohman. “They want to see who they can rub elbows with. Of course, our teenager would love the opportunity to take Rapper Drake down.”

Parenting the Fortnite Addict in the New York Times

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3 THINGS PARENTS SHOULD DO FOR THEIR FAVORITE FORTNITER

1. Communicate about healthy consumption

According to Dr. Strohman, parents must treat technology the same as they do food.  “We would never allow a steady diet full of sugar, so why would we allow a steady diet of video games and technology? she says. “If you saw your children eating gummy bears for breakfast, you would sit them down and talk about how it is unhealthy.”

Parents must do the same thing when it comes to video game consumption. We must talk to our child about why a diet full of screens isn’t healthy and then we must be willing to set firm boundaries around gaming in our homes.

2. Create opportunities to build empathy

How are these first-person shooter games affecting our kids?

There is no research to show that first-person shooter games, such as Fortnite, creates actual violence. “But, what it has shown is escalated aggression,” said Dr. Strohman. A heightened alert system increases aggressive tendencies which reduce empathy in our kids. The concern is that this is becoming habitual.”

The world needs us to raise empathetic humans. Parents must mindfully create plenty of opportunities for our children to learn empathy through real-world experiences in our families and communities. Especially if we know that video games are numbing our children to this critical value.

4 Technology Battles Parents Must Fight

3. Write out your parental expectations for earning the privilege of gaming

How does your child currently earn the privilege to play video games in your home?

I asked Dr. Strohman if the list I gave my 16-year-old Fortnite playing son was perhaps over the top? Was I crossing the line from a firm and loving authoritative parent to a demanding authoritarian parent with my expectations? 

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“Your list is absolutely awesome,” said Dr. Strohman. “If your son isn’t responsible enough to wear his retainers then how can he earn the privilege of playing video games?”

Nothing like an expert to tell you that your parenting tactics are spot on. Sorry son….

Before summer comes, decide what boundaries you need to place on video game play and overall technology use in your home. 

It’s okay if our kids think we’re crazy, mean or super annoying. It’s fine if our expectations make our child temporarily unhappy. It is our job to teach and lead our children to a life of significance and meaning and I can guarantee you too much time on an addictive video game is not achieving that goal.

Have you set boundaries on your son’s Fortnite play? What’s working for your family?

Want more wisdom from Dr. Lisa Strohman? Check out her website here!

To learn about Dr. Strohman’s book Unplug and other books on parenting our kids on screens check out my Parent On Purpose Amazon store!

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Parenting for the Launch Book Review and Giveaway

It’s that time of year when high school and college graduation announcements arrive in our mailboxes and social media feeds. What an exciting time as we get to honor and celebrate friends and family who are about to launch their precious child into the real world.

Few transitions bring as much joy, tears and anxiety to parents as when their children graduate from high school and head off into the “real world.” It’s a strange concoction of emotions that is one part reflection (the memories), one part conviction (did we do everything we could?) and one part wonder (how will they do?).

This is exactly what compelled authors Dennis Trittin and Arlyn Lawrence to write their book Parenting for the Launch-Raising Teens to Succeed in the Real World. Their book is a roadmap to help bring clarity to your parenting goals and offer direction and strategies to achieve them.

Are you preparing today for the upcoming launch of your child?

Parenting-For-The-Launch-Book-Dennis-Trittin

Parenting for the Launch is directed toward the parent and gives a global framework for how to approach and execute the launch. What I Wish I Knew at 18, on the other hand, is messaged directly to the teen. It has the nuts and bolts of the successful principles you’ll want to communicate before your son or daughter leaves home.

In these books, you’ll learn to prepare your child for key life decisions, build an enduring relationship and move confidently as a parent from the driver to the passenger seat.

Dennis-Trittin-Amy-Carney-Parenting-Author

A friend introduced me to Dennis’ first book What I wish I Knew at 18, as they knew I was writing my book on a similar message of parenting from the end. Dennis and I connected on Twitter and were able to get together recently in Arizona to chat about his books and how parents can begin to prepare for the launch of their child now. (See there are some positives of social media!)

In Parenting for the Launch, you will find strategies that will help you prepare your teen to soar into adulthood- to parent with purpose and to let go with confidence.

Want to win your own Parenting for the Launch/What I Wish I Knew at 18 combo? Leave a comment below on why you need these books NOW and be entered to win. TWO lucky readers will be drawn at random on May 18 to win their very own copies of Dennis Trittin‘s books. Entrants must be a US resident to win.

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One Way to Curb Entitlement in Your Child Today

Looking at my kids, you wouldn’t know their name brand shirt and shorts were purchased second hand.

You wouldn’t know that the expensive shoes on their feet were actually bought for a fraction of the retail price.

The book they’re reading and the backpack they are carrying were most likely purchased at a discount too.

I take my kids to shop at Goodwill and second-hand stores on purpose.

A friend sent me this viral Facebook post asking my take on it.

To me, this is just a typical scenario that happens to all of us parents, at one time or another. We react to our child’s bad behavior or disappointing character because we’ve never proactively made a plan to do otherwise.

We get so fed up with our kid’s lack of gratitude and reactively make desperate decisions to counteract what we have created. I’ve most certainly been there.

If we don’t want to raise entitled children, then what can we do today to ensure that we instead raise humble, grateful sons and daughters?

Shop at Goodwill now.

We don’t want to wait until the negative attribute arises and then scramble to figure out how to squelch it. I highly doubt that making her son pick out and pay for his weekly wardrobe at Goodwill was a planned consequence of entitlement. It was simply a reaction to it.

What if we parent proactively today so that the entitlement we don’t want to see in our children, doesn’t come to fruition tomorrow?

What if we look at the values and traits that we don’t want our kids to embody as an adult and begin to purposefully parent toward heading those off now?

Shopping at second-hand stores has always been a proactive part of my parenting plan.

I want my children to become adults who don’t place a high value on material items so I, in turn, must devalue materialism in our home now. I also want to raise people who understand that reusing and recycling are not just good for our wallets, but for our planet overall.

Don’t use shopping at Goodwill as a punishment for your entitled child, but instead as a purposeful way to build positive values that may just last them a lifetime.

Do you shop at thrift, second hand and bargain shops on purpose?

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Parents We Must Rise! Book Review and Giveaway

We are the parents. We love you. We are in charge.

How come we sometimes forget this one simple line?

I’m grateful for the parenting reminders throughout Arlene Pellicane’s new book, Parents Rising. Since my book is still in process, I’m thrilled Arlene has just released a very similar message to mine encouraging parents to take back leadership of their children, families, and homes. The world needs us to rise, Moms and Dads!

Parents-Rising-Book-By-Arlene-Pellicane-Book-Review

Every time she writes, Parents We Must Rise throughout the book, I feel empowered and want to link arms with all of you working hard to parent against popular culture. We can. We should and we must!

Whether Arlene says Parents We must Rise, or I say Parent on Purpose, both are meant to encourage parents to reject passive parenting and instead intentionally raise our children into strong adults.

I love the simple format and size of Parents Rising- 8 strategies for Raising Kids who Love God, Respect Authority and Value What’s Right. Can I get an amen for the title alone?

Parents Rising is an easy read, which I’m thankful for. Raising five kids and writing my own book, does not allow me much extra time for reading right now. Arlene’s practical tips and personal stories of raising her three children keep the reader entertained and inspired. I also love how she encourages us with scripture and little Bible tales, reminding us that God must be at the helm of our families if we truly want to rise.

This is the perfect book to throw in your car to read when you’re waiting to pick up your child from another school pick up or soccer practice. The book is broken down into 8 separate strategies with my favorite ones being.. Amusement is not the Highest Priority and Routine and Boundaries Provide Security. It was also fun to see she included the powerful 936 pennies message as well!

I can certainly fall into the trap of wanting to keep my kids busy, entertained and happy. And I most definitely believe that our kids need stable routine and boundaries in our homes.

My son wrote Be like a normal parent at the bottom of our family expectations before being allowed to play video games. I translate that to mean Mom, you are a parent rising! My son thinks he wants me to be a passive parent who doesn’t have boundaries. Good thing my husband and I are the ones in charge around here and that I know being my son’s friend is not what he needs right now.

Want to win your very own copy of Parents Rising? Leave a comment below on why you could use some parenting inspiration right now and be entered to win. One lucky reader will be drawn at random on April 21 to win their very own copy of Parents Rising courtesy of Moody Publishers. Entrants must be a US resident to win.

Parents let’s rise together!

Learn more about Arlene on her blog.

And check out my Parent on Purpose Amazon store for more of my reading recommendations!