Feeling the Pain of the NHL Trade Deadline

The NHL trade deadline is today. I get a pit in my stomach just thinking about it and our family hasn’t had to worry about this in 7 years. But, I know all too well how NHL families are feeling today and it simply could be the toughest day of the season for us wives. Most fans and people unrelated to the sport don’t have any idea the anxiety that today brings.

All day you are scared to death any time your phone rings. Are the rumors you’ve heard about you moving on true? You’ve wrapped your head around the thought of you getting traded and then there’s no phone call. I guess we’re safe and not going anywhere. But, wait we kind of wanted to go. Didn’t we?

As a wife of a former NHLer with a 17 year career, I spent many years feeling the nervousness that today brings for those following in our footsteps. It’s not fun at all. Because even if you are stable and going nowhere, you will have to say goodbye to teammates and friends today. Guys will inevitably leave their wives and families behind to get on the next flight to their newest NHL home. But, even so, it may just be for a short time, so you can’t get ahead of yourself because most likely you will be making yet another move after the season. That is, if your presence doesn’t lead your new team to the playoffs promise land.

Our friend and ex-teammate on the Phoenix Coyotes, Shane Doan, was quoted in the Arizona Republic this week saying, “When it’s your friends and peoples families that you know, it’s so much harder. There’s amazing things to playing in the NHL. There’s a lot harder things to do, but I don’t care who you are. It’s no fun.” Shane has spent his entire career with the Coyotes since he joined the team in 1995. He and his wife, Andrea, have four children like us but haven’t had to experience any of the moving around. She and I talk about how nice that is yet how change is not necessarily a bad thing.

Change is pretty much inevitable when you are married to a professional athlete. Sometimes a trade feels exciting and other times it feels like your world is coming to an end. It isn’t a whole lot of fun to not have any say in where you are moving to or when you might do it. It can and does happen in an instant. But, nonetheless you pick up and go and make the best of it. And I have to say I am a different, more well rounded, confident person because of it. I now have amazing friends all over the US and Canada because of NHL trades. I couldn’t be more grateful for that. Back in the day, Keith and I never would’ve dreamed of retiring to the desert. When we married we pictured ourselves raising kids in a brownstone in downtown Chicago. Ah yes, life is a wonderful journey, isn’t it?

Flexibility is the key to this lifestyle. I learned to go with the flow as we moved around to four different teams. Two trades came at the March deadline. I can say it was much simpler when we were just a newly married couple moving from Chicago to Phoenix. Somehow it didn’t feel quite the same getting the news with four kids in tow going from Anaheim to Vancouver. But, we definitely grew with each move. I learned to reach out and connect quickly with other women who gave me advice on where to put the kids in school and overall help me navigate my new city.

Today is tough. I’m feeling it for all of you who will shed tears and hug your man before he heads off today. I’m sorry for that. Change is difficult but it also creates opportunity. A new world awaits you so take advantage of it. This NHL craziness certainly doesn’t last forever so hang in there and enjoy your ride.

I dug into Keith’s hockey bin of memories for articles on the trades and ended up sitting here for awhile reminiscing. So blessed…. even for all those darn moves.