How Our Family Sabbatical Strengthened Our Marriage
As I reflect on our family sabbatical around the USA, I can’t help but think about how it affected our marriage. As Keith and I celebrate 17 years of matrimony today, I am in awe of how this epic trip strengthened us as husband and wife.
I knew that taking this profound journey would be great for our family. I knew it would be quality bonding time spending six months on the road together and all that was intertwined in that. I knew that we were making precious family memories that would hopefully sustain us all for a lifetime.
But, what I didn’t foresee was how amazing this trip would be for our marriage.
Marriage most certainly can feel stagnant, stale and simply safe after awhile. If you’ve been married for any length of time and have several kids, I’m sure you’re tracking with me. I knew that I was married to my best friend, but somehow on most days that didn’t even seem relevant. Keith’s NHL career obviously kept him on the road and focused on that for the first ten years of our marriage. Then for the past three years, his position with the Chicago Blackhawks had him traveling on most weekends, when I could’ve used his fatherly services the most. Weekends are a busy time around here. Nonetheless, we juggled it all just fine. Dare I say that I’m used to figuring out how to do things on my own and turning to my village of friends for help when necessary.
But, we knew we wanted more out of life than how we were doing things and the TIME WAS NOW. We talked for awhile about doing a crazy trip like this. Just leaving behind everything that was keeping us disconnected from one other. NOW OR NEVER. The kids are growing fast and they won’t want to spend time with us like this much longer. Either we put the brakes on now or have regrets later. NO REGRETS. LET’S DO THIS.
This motorhome trip was Keith’s idea. People are always surprised by that and assume it was me that came up with the grand scheme. Always up for adventure, I am usually the mover and shaker of the family, so I can see how people would make this assumption. I hear a lot of wives say, “oh my husband would love to do that” or “I would love to do that but my husband would never.” Marriage takes teamwork and growth together to succeed. Maybe marriage is just about going along with that one crazy dream that your spouse has. Why not GO FOR IT together?
When we were on the debate of turning the dream into reality, I told Keith, “you buy the motorhome and we’ll do this.” And do you know what? HE DID.
He figured out what needed to be done to buy the RV he wanted. He handled everything with the help of a dear friend and I wasn’t involved. I didn’t want any part of the material purchase. If he wanted this to happen, then he would have to figure out how to bring it to fruition. I honestly didn’t believe that he would.
Remember, that we had never spent one night in a motorhome camping in our lives. Keith had never even driven anything bigger than our Suburban before we headed out on this journey. He never even owned tools before this. Would he really be strong enough to leave a job with the Chicago Blackhawks to fulfill a personal dream for our family? The thought of him in charge of all this was scary to me. He honestly had really never been in charge of our family plan before.
But, he surprised me. Not with flowers or with some other mediocre sentiment. He surprised me by showing up. Day after day for six months. He was a rock star behind that wheel. For the first time, I really felt like I needed this man. I can’t say that much intimidates me, but driving Ally B and her sidekicks, the Buick and six bikes, most certainly did. Keith drove every time with utter confidence and pure enjoyment. I played flight attendant and served him coffee and snacks as we drove along America’s highways chatting and laughing. It’s no wonder I shunned my role as roadschooling Mom. This was way more fun than teaching math. Sure, go ahead and watch a movie kids. I’m busy having a good time shotgun my best friend up here.
I have never been a hockey fan. I never married Keith because he was a hockey player. Sometimes it didn’t even equate with me that that’s what he really did for a living. He doesn’t fit the persona. My friends laugh when I say in all truth that seeing him drive and handle this RV trip was way sexier to me than any hockey game I’ve ever seen him play in. For real people. Because seeing someone try something new, fulfilling a dream that makes them genuinely happy, is extremely attractive.
He turned this grand idea into reality and that is appealing. Yes, he had to give up his good job to do this, but that was the point of it too. To really evaluate what is important in life right now and go the distance to make sure you cease the opportunity that is only HERE AND NOW.
There are many times on the trip that I would’ve pulled over on the side of the road and given up. He, on the other hand, never felt there was a situation he couldn’t handle which totally put me at ease. I felt safe and secure and taken care of. What more can you ask for?
I’m proud of us.
And there’s nothing better than going into your 18th year of marriage feeling like that.
But, first let me take a selfie…… our one night away at The Dean in Providence!
I laughed and cried… Love this Amy… Thanks for sharing…
Love this! Happy Anniversary!!! Miss you all xoxo
Amy, you are just such a special lady. You’re family is so lucky to have you! I’m just so happy for all of you that you got to share such an amazing journey together.
Thanks so much for sharing your adventures. I’m sure there will be many more to come!!!
xox… Janelle
What an inspiration you guys are, truly! Congrats on taking a risk, heading out into unknown territory and enjoying your journey together! Proud of you Amy and Keith! Happy Anniversary you two!! XO
Thank you for sharing! I love it! So happy that you were able to have that experience! Love you guys!
Such a great story Amy! I can’t wait to hear more about it.
I so LOVE this. I have been thinking and pondering and dreaming of us doing this very thing. We are going into our 10th year of marriage in October. We are in our 30’s now.. and I am so ready to jump on the road with my family. We already homeschool, we’ve lived “off-grid” before…. and we love to travel. My husband is totally up for it.. we are both adventurous anyway.. just have to figure a few things out and start lightening our load! So, fun to see other families that have successfully hit the road and made it home and are not only still in love.. but possibly MORE in love ! God bless you all! Sheila
Why don’t you have any wedding pics!? Cause I remember watching it on TLC’s a wedding story and your gown is one I will never forget because not a Lotta women wear dresses like that anymore to think you’d be saving it for your daughter but she’s probably gonna want to wear strapless! But than again you see women like Nicole Richie and Princess Kate wearing Grace Kelly or Christina Aguilera wearing v necks, and what kids names!!?
Dear Amy and Keith,
Since i found out about your book, i feel so amazed by what you do in life, for your wonderful family, your work as a parent and teacher to the World and your work with God.
Please excuse my Frenglish, i am from Sainte-Adèle, Québec, witch is about 40 minutes from Mont-Tremblant.
I remember your wedding from A Wedding Story. You were so beautiful and you still are. Both of you.
My husband and I renewed our wedding vows, last year on May for our 20th, anniversary (May 29th, 1999).
We don’t have any children, we tried but… I guess it was not in our cards.
We are proud to be Godmother and Godfather, we were choosen with love.
We are going to open a day care it will be our way to find « our own little family » with our God in everything and everyday.
I will buy your book that is for sure and i was wondering if you will make a French édition of this book ?
Thank you for your presence in this world, you are an inspiration to me.
With love and respect
Julie xx
I love that you remember the Wedding Story episode! Thank you for your encouragement! Just maybe I will be able to do a French edition of this book. Thank you for getting me thinking about it! Much love to you Julie.