With Valentines Day just around the corner and red hearts adorning my home, love is in the air. No matter our age or stature in life, we all share a common thread in our need to feel loved to best succeed in life. But, how good are we at demonstrating our love to those who mean the most to us?

The 5 Love Languages is an amazing tool that I use in my daily life. It’s truly life changing to figure out the love languages of your children and spouse/partner. Different people express love in different ways. This Valentines Day your loved one may buy you flowers when what you really want is a romantic dinner out on the town. Perhaps you’ll cook him a home made meal when he really would just love to hear how much you adore him. Or maybe you both want to go to one of the most romantic places in the world, New York City. Where there is plenty of things to do for both of you to enjoy your Valentine’s day. The only problem is that you haven’t told each other. And the miscommunicated love goes on and on… unless we learn one another’s love language. I think quotes are a great way to show how you’re feeling to one another and an easy way to start learning each other’s language of love. There are loads of quotes at lifehacks on this topic which you can use to express yourself.

I think it’s even more important to learn the love languages of our children. Go figure that each of my four kids receive love in four different ways. I knew their personalities differed but who knew that the way they feel loved is uniquely their own as well. Definitely keeps me on my toes!

According to Gary Chapman, the author of the 5 Love Languages Series, there are five specific languages of love:

1. Words of Affirmation – This language uses words to affirm other people. These are the people who are always complimenting you and showing you love through their words. This is definitely not my love language, but it seems that it’s a very popular one with many of my friends and one of my sons. It’s very important to tell these individuals how wonderful they are any chance you get!

2. Acts of Service- For these people, actions speak louder than words. Dad’s love language is Acts of Service. We all know this and love serving him coffee as this makes him feel loved. Going out of your way to do things for individuals with this love language is important!

3. Receiving Gifts – For some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a gift. Do you know that person who is always giving you thoughtful gifts? This son shows his love through buying his little Sis a surprise gift in New York City.

4. Quality Time – This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. Yep, this is me. Make a plan to spend one on one time with me and my tank is full! I’m even willing to take silly selfies if that’s what spending time with my eleven year old daughter entails.

5. Physical Touch – To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. Do you have a child who loves to cuddle? The one who is always pushing around his siblings and giving high fives to his friends. Physical touch is the way to their heart.

HOW DO I FIGURE OUT MY LOVE LANGUAGE?

Start thinking about what might be your personal love language and then those of your family members. What resonates with you when you look at our moments above?

Observe how you most often express love to others. Is your first instinct to hug someone or express to them how wonderful they look?

What do you complain about most often? That is good insight into what your love language may be as well. Your complaints reveal your inner desires. What do you request of your spouse most often?

According to Chapman, sometimes there are certain life situations that make the other love languages extremely attractive. For example, your primary love language may be Words of Affirmation, but if you are the mother of three preschool children, then Acts of Service by your husband may become extremely attractive to you. If he gives you only Words of Affirmation and does not offer to help you with household responsibilities, you may begin to feel “I’m tired of hearing you say, ‘I love you’ when you never lift a hand to help me.” For those years, it may appear that Acts of Service has become your primary love language. However, if Words of Affirmation cease, you will quickly know that this continues to be your primary love language.

This Valentines Day have each member of your family take the brief online quiz to see what your love languages are. It’s fun and free! Then grab one of the books to learn more and start spreading the love. Only this time you will be equipped to show it in the way someone might need it the most! Happy Valentines Day to you!!

Please excuse today’s blog entry as it’s not my normal post with pretty pictures and happy travel reviews but it’s today’s truth. This post would’ve remained in my personal journal before this trip. But, since you are along with me on this ride and have asked for the truth, here you go….

Today I am feeling trapped by this RV. Suffocated by our cross country campground tour. My best friend Mary’s Mom died and I’m feeling overwhelmed not being there. In upstate New York, I am much closer in distance to their home in Maryland than normal, but yet I am hours away from an airport and honestly just can’t figure out how to get there before her Mom’s service, which is 24 hours from now.

Who cares about touring Lake Placid at a time like this? Who cares about any of it? My friend’s Mom passed away and I need to be there. I need to get there to hug her and cry with her and tell her it’s so not fair in person. She tells me that it’s ok and that she understands if I can’t make it. She’s giving me an “out” as she usually does, but something in me isn’t buying it.

Our family has missed numerous celebrations to do this trip. Celebrations we would’ve really liked to have been at. We’ve missed Bar Mitzvahs, Graduations, parties and weddings. All the fun celebrations that a normal summertime brings. I even turned down a keynote speaking opportunity for a blog conference that I really wanted to do. Just stay focused. We committed to this trip and everyone understands. But, today I just want to be back in my normal existence where I could’ve just jumped on a plane from Phoenix to Baltimore without thinking twice. Instead my head has been spinning trying to figure out how to get to Mary from here. So close yet so far. After researching my options for hours last night, I decided to sleep on it and knew that God would lead me in the morning.

When I woke up today, I decided that I wasn’t going to leave my family to drive to Lake Placid without me. I decided that it all felt too much to figure out so I called Mary in tears to tell her that I just couldn’t make it. I knew deep in my soul that I should be there and that I want to be there, but I didn’t know how to make it happen. I’m not in my element. I am in the middle of a campground, in an RV, in the pouring rain, in the middle of our epic trip. I just can’t make it. She’ll understand.

With tears streaming down my face, I made the phone call to tell her I wouldn’t be there. She picked up the phone without a hello and sobbing said, I am not ok Amy. I am just not ok. I keep telling everyone I’m ok, but I’m just not. Then, there was nothing but tears between us. God had spoken and I would find my way to her. My family would understand and would be capable to continue on a few hours and set up home in Lake Placid without me. They would have to.

My dear family dropping me off at the Albany train station! On to Lake Placid they go without me.

Mary and I have been pals since we met in 4th grade. Her family moved to Maryland our junior year of high school and we vowed to remain the best of friends. We have lived on different coasts for 20 plus years now but have remained close despite the distance. We have seen each other through first crushes, first and second marriages, first babies and now a first death of a parent. I will be there. I will see you through this as well my friend.

I walked back into the RV and said to my husband. I have to go. Please help me make it happen and just book the closest train station to get me there. And he did. The stress of getting on an airplane just made the relaxation of my friend Amtrak more appealing for my travel today down to Baltimore. The price was the exact same for a one way ticket as the flight on Southwest and I could’ve been there in an hour and a half instead of 6 hours, but I needed this time to decompress. I also thought that dropping me off at the Albany train station would be easier with the big rig than an airport! Plus, I didn’t bring a suitcase or any travel sized toiletries along in the RV so it felt nice to just throw stuff in a bag without thinking about how many ounces it was or how sharp it may be. Another Amtrak plus.

Then I realized I didn’t even bring along an outfit for such an occasion. When I skimmed my closet, I came to a dress I picked up in an Omaha boutique. I had pictured wearing it out one night on a dinner date with my husband, most likely when we returned to Arizona. It’s the only piece of clothing I’ve bought along the journey so far. Who knew it’s what I would now be wearing to my best friend’s Mom’s funeral.

Today I took a detour from our family’s planned trip to tend to a friend. To say goodbye to a sweet, loving woman who’s house I grew up in and to help bring comfort to her daughter. I think my kids can learn from this just as they have been learning about our countries history and landmarks along the way. Close friendships and loving relationships are life’s most precious gifts. May we always remember to take the time to invest in those who have brought joy, love and happiness to our lives. I’m on my way friend.

The hustle and bustle of a Friday night layover in Penn Station in NYC!

It’s tradition. Recycling bottles and cans in California for cash. It’s what we do. It’s what we’ve done ever since the kids have been old enough to understand about making money and helping the environment at the same time. Kids of this generation need ways to make a little hard earned cash themselves. It’s important to find opportunities like this for them to earn their own vacation money. It’s not easy at their ages to find ways to do this.

Whenever we know we have an upcoming trip over to our Dana Point house, we start saving our bottles in Arizona. We load up the car top carrier and whatever we can fit around our luggage in the back of the Suburban and off we go to Cali. Life lessons take a little crazy effort people…

Yes, the kids get a little dirty doing this and the older they get, the less they are into it. They used to go down Laguna Beach picking up bottles all day long because every nickel counted to them. Now they take what we’ve saved in Arizona and are happy with that! This RePlanet is really close to us behind our Ralphs Grocery Store, so it’s nice and convenient.

There are a couple ways to get your money. You can feed each container through one by one and make the amounts shown or you can fill the trash cans with bottles and you get paid by weight. It usually depends on how much we have and how busy it is. Today we did a little of both. You definitely make more by feeding them through, but it also takes a lot more time.

Once you’re done, you will get receipts like this that you can turn into the grocery for your hard earned cash. Split between the four kids, it came to about $8 a kid. Not bad for a little time and effort. I know they will be happy spending that in the Laguna Beach candy shop later and we will be happy that we don’t have to hand over any money at the same time!