My post on 8 things you should stop doing for your teen resonated with a lot of people.
The truth is, it is tough parenting resilient kids in today’s culture.
As a stay-at-home, work-from-home Mom, it’s easy to over-parent my kids because I adore them and want them to wholeheartedly know and feel that.
I have to really work at not over-functioning as a Mom.
Raising four not so-youngsters, I’m constantly fighting the urge to over parent. From the time my feet hit the floor each morning to the time I crawl into bed, I am trying to balance being there for my kids and showing up in my own life.
Why is parenting today so much more difficult than when we were growing up?
Or does it just seem that way because we are so heavily involved?
Today our children are so much busier than we ever were as kids. I played high school sports and thank goodness there was no such thing as “club teams” and rarely if ever, did we have hours of homework.
We do a lot of things for our kids that our parents never did for us. We feel bad for our busy kids, so we try and help them out, even when we shouldn’t.
Here are 5 Books that help me when I want to over-parent
1. How To Raise An Adult- Julie Lythcott-Haims
THIS book. Everything about this is music to my ears. Break Free of the Over Parenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success.
The author is a former freshman dean at Stanford and was appalled at what she was seeing in today’s generation of college students. I will not raise my child to be someone that appalls any adult.
2. The Price of Privilege – Madeline Levine, Ph.D.
I own several of Levine’s books but this is my latest favorite. This book is about how parental pressure and material advantage are creating a generation of disconnected and unhappy kids. Levine is a lecturer and practicing psychologist in California.
If you’re concerned about how technology and materialism are affecting kids- get this one!
3. The Gift of Failure – Jessica Lahey
Why is it so hard to let our kids fail? This book is a great resource for those of us who find it tough to let go and let natural consequences run their course.
Teacher, journalist, and parent Jessica Lahey lays out a blueprint with targeted advice to help parents learn to step back and embrace their children’s setbacks along with their successes.
4. The Opposite of Spoiled – Ron Lieber
Ron Lieber is a personal finance column for the New York Times. This practical guidebook is rooted in timeless values and helps parents embrace the connection between money and values to help them raise young adults who are grounded, not materialistic and financially wise. Eventually, the children will need debit and credit cards of their own and being able to discuss how to get a credit card without credit history will play a huge role in their financially independent lives. Preparing them for adulthood is key, and setting a good example will help drastically. It’s often difficult to be on top of finances, especially with children who cost an absolute bomb! Luckily, when in a tight spot, there is always credit available to us. See here for the top free credit score providers.
5. 12 Huge Mistakes Parents Can Avoid: Leading your Kids to Succeed in Life – Dr. Tim Elmore
I love reading Tim Elmore’s blog from his nonprofit organization Growing Leaders. His book has great tips and ideas and starts off with an over-functioning parent quiz so you can assess your parenting style and preferences.
The biggest thing we need to remember when parenting is to not only LOVE our kids but to LOVE ourselves through the journey as well!
(If you purchase any of the books from the Amazon affiliate links, I might just make a few pennies. Know that I would never recommend anything that I didn’t already own and love myself!)