Whose bright idea was it to think that giving our youth iPhones was a good idea?
And why have we continued to follow along knowing that giving our kids these powerful digital devices isn’t smart?
I’m not sure how our family fell into society’s technology trap, but we did. Our teenagers have personal smartphones, but they don’t come without limits, rules, and restrictions.
Our screen-obsessed, competitive society makes it harder than ever to raise happy, thriving kids. But there are tried-and-true methods that can help. Instead of rearing a generation of children who are overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and who struggle to become independent, responsible adults, parents can create a culture that promotes the growth of important character traits and the social skills kids need for meaningful, successful lives.
There are many reasons my husband and I choose to send our teenagers away to overnight camp far from home for a few weeks each summer. I love that Camp Owner and Mother of 5, Audrey Monke compiled the most important lessons gained at summer camp into her book Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults. Whether you send your kids off to camp or not, Audrey gives us the secrets to live out the camp ideals in the comfort of our homes.
5 Reasons We Send our Kids to Sleep Away Summer Camp
Research has proven that kids are happier and gain essential social and emotional skills at camp. A recognized parenting expert, Audrey Monke distills what she’s learned from thousands of interactions with campers, camp counselors, and parents, and from her research in positive psychology, to offer intentional strategies parents can use to foster the benefits of camp at home.
Navigating technology has become the biggest challenge we face as parents today. As we raise our children amidst the omnipresence of digital devices, it’s not necessarily the gadgets themselves that are the issue; rather, it’s our consumption habits and the time we spend engrossed in screens that demand scrutiny.
In this modern era, it’s imperative that we carve out intentional screen-free time and spaces in our children’s lives, fostering a healthy balance between virtual and real-world experiences.
Don’t pay your kid for scoring goals in a game.
Don’t pay them for achieving A’s on their report card or for eating their vegetables.
Don’t pay your child for doing the dishes, sweeping the floor, or scrubbing their toilet.
The pay-for-performance debate has been a subject of discussion for families for generations. If we don’t tie the money we pay our kids to chores, grades, or other accomplishments, then why give them an allowance at all?
One way we can teach children financial responsibility is by giving them a consistent allowance and then helping our son or daughter learn how to save, spend, and give their money away.
It’s that time of year when teenage boys around America are expected to put on a production to ask a girl to the traditional high school dance.
After a long day of school and varsity baseball practice, my son and his friend trudged through our house carrying an armload of art supplies and poster boards.
When my son should be spending time on his physics homework or hanging out with his grandparents who are visiting from out of town, he has to design a sloganed poster to invite his girlfriend to the upcoming junior prom.
My parents, who attended high school prom together, can’t believe this is what’s going on today. Knowing teenage boys don’t naturally do this sort of thing, my Dad asked his grandson and his friend if they feel like decorating posters?
“Not really. But, the girls want us to do it.”
Sure they like the girl. Sure they want to take her to the dance. It’s been a high school rite of passage through the generations. Neither my Grandpa, my Dad nor my husband ever had to invite their date to prom with anything other than their words, so why are our sons now expected to conjure up a themed presentation to ask a girl to the dance?
As if teenage guys don’t have enough on their plate today, they must now come up with a cheesy proposal production as is the societal norm. He’d better not think of asking a girl to the dance without at least a decorated poster board in hand or he would be considered unthoughtful, uncaring or rude.
What happened to just a good guy asking a sweet girl to the high school dance?
How come that’s no longer acceptable?
Because there wouldn’t be anything post-worthy for social media if there weren’t a production, and we all know how much everyone loves a good curated photo for the feed.
And forget the decorated poster board. Some take it to another level buying oversized teddy bears, shoes, jewelry, and the list goes on. I’m sure the bigger, the better. Check out this post or your kids’ social media feeds if you don’t believe me.
The promposal production seems like another great way to try and one-up each other too. Oh, your guy only decorated a poster for you? Well, check out what my man (or his Mom) did for me…. and the comparison game is on. Just what our youth need.
I’m having a tough time wrapping my head around the concept and why we’re accepting this nonsense to be commonplace now.
Our daughter said she thinks the promposal idea is “cute.” I explained to her that it’s adorable when she and her girlfriends make posters for one another’s birthdays and bring them to middle school to celebrate. There is nothing cute about expecting a young man to design a presentation to ask you to prom.
Let’s stop putting pressure on kids to have to put on a post-worthy show for what should be a simple invitation to a timeless high school event.
Let’s put our efforts into raising confident and kind young men and women who don’t need a showy production to feel good about themselves or to enjoy their lives.
Let’s begin to tell our kids that a post-worthy promposal production is not necessary.
See a penny pick it up, and all the day you’ll have good luck.
Or perhaps the copper coin can instead bless another as you drop it into your family Blessing Jar.
For years, I wanted to start a Christmas Jar in our family. I loved the idea, wanted to do the tradition, but I constantly forgot to start it…. until last year. And now this particular tradition is one of our family favorites.
We renamed it our family Blessing Jar and use it a little differently than is expressed in the Christmas Jar book, but the overall purpose is the same- to take the time to think of giving to others throughout the entire year.
While raising my five children, I seek out ways to naturally teach my sons and daughter how to think of others before themselves and regularly be a blessing to other people in simple and significant ways. The Blessing Jar is a perfect way to authentically teach the values I want my kids to have as well as build an overall giving family culture.
Grab a random empty glass jar and set it in a prominent area of your home where your family members frequently reside. Designate the jar as your 2019 family Blessing Jar and begin dropping coins and bills into the glass jar all year long.
We fill our Blessing Jar with coins that we find laying on the ground in parking lots; bills that were accidentally left in pockets and appear in the dryer; unclaimed piles of coins left around the house and money received for helping people who wouldn’t accept our help for free.
This year’s jar reminded me of precious moments like the time when we were vacationing in California, and two of our sons pushed a dead golf cart up a steep hill to get it home for a group of stranded girls. The boys tried to refuse the cash the girls insisted they take for helping them. So, they gave it to me and asked me to put it in our Blessing Jar.
Without this intentional tradition in place, I guarantee that money would’ve just gone right into their pockets because there would’ve been nowhere else for it to go. We must intentionally give our children opportunities to bless others before themselves and the Blessing Jar does precisely that.
At the beginning of the year, my husband came home from the gym and dropped this crumpled one dollar bill into our jar. He said no one was around to claim it, so he picked it up to add to our Blessing Jar. If we didn’t have this tradition, I guarantee he wouldn’t have cared even to grab that money. I most certainly would’ve never heard about it even if he had.
Each year, I purposely don’t purchase or do something I would usually do in December and instead gift that money to the jar instead. For instance, this year is the first time I didn’t send out a photo Christmas card of our family and instead put that money I would’ve spent in our Blessing Jar.
The Blessing Jar is a simple family tradition that gives us an avenue to authentically talk with our children about our spending choices and our giving. It’s so much fun to watch the jar organically fill up throughout the year and even more meaningful to gather together as a family the week before Christmas and decide who we want to receive our Blessing Jar.
A Blessing Jar is an intentional way for your family to have a small, collective purpose throughout the entire year.
It’s simple traditions like this that teach our children the values we want them to leave our home with one day. If you’re looking to begin a meaningful family tradition that will last all year long, consider starting a Blessing Jar of your own come January 1!
Want to know what your child is dealing with out in the world when it comes to peer relationships? Their self-concept? How about their thoughts on difficult topics like sexuality, social media, technology, or drugs and alcohol?
Thanks to Adam Brooks new product, Drivealogue, parents now have a more natural way to discuss tough and timely issues with their kids. His conversation starter packs get us adults intentionally talking to our children about topics more meaningful than what we ate for lunch or what grade was achieved on that math test.
Adam Brooks’ new product, Drivealogue, challenges parents to have brave conversations with their kids.
Brooks, the founder of Youth Awareness and Safety, was concerned about the heightened rate of youth suicide in Arizona and wanted to make a product that would allow parents to engage in tough conversations with their children proactively.
“My cards were designed to have meaningful, brave conversations that we may not even want to have, but that we desperately have to have if we’re going to keep our kids safe today,” said Brooks.
Brooks came up with the concept of using his card game in the car because he had read that kids were more likely to open up and freely communicate with adults if they didn’t have to make direct eye contact. Not only that, but today’s reality finds parents spending more time in the car shuttling kids around to activities, so why not make a product to help us forge more meaningful conversations during our time on the road together.
Drivealogue features three unique card decks meant for different age groups- for elementary, middle and high school-aged kids.
The cards feature questions like:
“What would you do if someone sent you a nude photo?”
“What would you do if someone who you were friends with in elementary school started ignoring you in middle school?”
There are also many lighthearted cards scattered throughout the decks as well, with questions like “What if you started a video channel. What would it be about?”
At $20 each, Drivealogue card decks make the perfect family hostess gift this holiday season! To order or learn more, click HERE!
What would it look like to be a happier parent this school year?
Is it really possible for us to find more happiness amidst the chaos of the hectic school morning routine, the homework, the sibling drama and once again telling your kids to put away the screens while eating breakfast?
My friend, Lori, exudes happiness in her annual back-to-school photo tradition! Isn’t she the best?
New York Times contributor and writer KJ Dell’Antonia’s tells us HOW we can regain our happiness in parenthood in her brand new book, How to Be A Happier Parent- Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute.
As a mother of four, KJ found herself wondering if this whole parenthood thing had to be so difficult on most days. She wanted to enjoy motherhood more than she was. But, the workload was overwhelming. She questioned why she wasn’t more satisfied with her life as a parent. So she set out to find out how we can bring more happiness, and even fun to the ordinary days that make up the measure of our lives.
I consider myself overall to be a happy parent. But, I learned long ago that getting in a school pick up or drop off line was not setting me up for success in the parental happiness department. Neither was helping with math homework or making school lunches for my capable 16-year-olds. So, instead, I taught my people long ago how to be in charge of their own existence.
And low and beyond this is #1 on KJ’s list of what happier parents do well.
I love everything about this book- from the cute cover design to choosing the chapter I need right now to help with a problem area in our family. If it’s meal times, chores, sibling rivalry, discipline, screens… you name the thief of your parental joy and it’s most likely in here.
Through interviews with educators and experts along with her personal stories, KJ gives us lots of helpful tips, strategies, and inspirations to shift our mindsets and create new habits in order to find more happiness in our role as Mom or Dad today.
And just because my capable children wouldn’t want me to be too happy, they continue to leave me plenty of reminders that I am still dearly needed.
With a new school year upon us, How to Be A Happier Parent is a well-timed reminder that a satisfying family life isn’t about hauling kids around and eventually dropping them off at destination success. It’s about finding real happiness during our journey of parenthood, and this book will help you figure out just how to do that.
KJ sent me a copy of her brand new book How to Be A Happier Parent- Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute. to give away to one of you lucky readers!
Comment below on why you want to be a happier parent for your chance to win! One lucky winner will be chosen at random on October 19. Must be a US resident to win.
Childhood is short.
Summer is even shorter.
God willing, eighteen summers are what we get with our children at home full-time in our nest.
While June, July, and August may be perfect for lazy days and relaxation, we mustn’t make the mistake of aimlessly drifting through the summer months without purposely making a proactive plan for our family.
What exactly is it that you want and need?
I love that summer provides my teenagers mornings to sleep in and time to rest and recover from their normally stressful high school scheduled programming. Yet, more downtime equates to more screen time if we’re not mindful.
How can we get our kids off screens and make this summer count?
I know this summer of ours matters yet how do we make the most of it despite our realities and circumstances?
We must decide to deliberately design our summers.
“You have to read this book,” said the parent sitting next to us on the sidelines of our daughters’ soccer game.“THIS is what we need more of in youth sports today.” He handed me this book and it quickly became one of my favorites.
Want to make a bigger impact on the children you are parenting, teaching or coaching?
Read The Matheny Manifesto and then act on the principles inside.
The book is based on St. Louis Cardinals manager, Mike Matheny’s expectations, standards and beliefs that he wrote for the parents of a little league team he had signed on to coach. If he was going to lead this group of kids, he wanted the parents to know the value system and moral code that he would be coaching from.
A manifesto is a statement where you can share your…
– Intentions (what you intend to do)
– Opinions (what you believe, your stance on a particular topic)
– Vision (the type of world that you dream about and wish to create)
“Let’s not sell ourselves short with regard to the impact we can have on the people who look up to us every day- our own kids and the kids we teach and coach,” says Matheny. “They’re looking for someone to stand up for what is right and to make a difference in their lives. That’s what heroes can do, and it starts with having the courage to do things differently.”
Mike Matheny doesn’t believe sport is more important than family.
He doesn’t believe that every child deserves a trophy.
He believes in teaching kids reality. He believes children need to fail. He believes young athletes should be playing more than just one sport. He believes parents should be a silent source of encouragement and let the coach do his job.
How do I know this? Because Matheny took the time to write, share and live out his manifesto.
Matheny’s old school advice is a powerful reminder of what sports can teach us about winning on the field and life. This book is full of wisdom of how we can better lead our youth today to more than just personal success.
I received an email from the book’s author, Jerry Jenkins after he read one of my blog posts. He encouraged me by telling me that he had raised his three sons the same way and that I may enjoy one of the books he’s written- The Matheny Manifesto. Little did he know that his book sits on my shelf as one of my favorites!
Jenkins so graciously sent me a signed copy of The Matheny Manifesto to give away to one of you lucky readers! Since baseball season is underway and Father’s Day is just around the corner, June seemed the perfect month to give away one of my favorites.
Comment below on why you need The Matheny Manifesto for your chance to win! One lucky winner will be chosen at random on June 11. Must be a US resident.
Order a copy of The Matheny Manifesto from my Parent on Purpose Amazon store today!
