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How To Avoid a Passport Family Fail

As I scrolled Facebook, a post from a writer friend in California stopped me in my tracks. Arlene Pellicane announced that her family had to cancel their epic Italian vacation because the kids’ passports weren’t in compliance for international travel.

Next, I received an email newsletter from my professional organizer friend, Danielle Wurth, talking about how her family trip to Mexico was derailed because of a similar scenario.

Hearing their stories got me thinking about how you and I could avoid the stress and disappointments that they experienced. 

CHECK YOUR PASSPORT NOW

Seeing my friends’ international travel plans thwarted due to passport issues caused me to head directly to our safe to check our passport expiration dates. Low and behold, my husband’s passport was due to expire in 6 weeks.

We don’t have current plans to travel internationally, but thanks to my friends’ mishaps my husband was able to send in for his renewal and already has his passport back (valid for another 10 years) in hand for when he may need it. If my friends’ didn’t tell of their passport fails, we would’ve surely been in the same position when it came time to travel out of the country the next time.

3 Things My Friends’ Passport Fails Taught Me

1. Really smart people make mistakes

That means you and I are going to make mistakes, so we can relax knowing that failure is a part of life. My friends, Danielle and Arlene, are amazingly bright, talented business owners who have their acts together. It just goes to show you, that everyone makes mistakes.

Danielle’s husband was working on their boarding passes the night before they were to leave on their family trip to Cancun when Phil announced: “Honey, my passport is expired!”

Now what?

2.  It’s an opportunity for the kids to see how you handle disappointment

When negative experiences happen that affect our families, it’s important that we use the time to teach our children lessons on how to handle disappointments, frustration, and failure. It is good for kids to see that their put-together parents even make big mistakes sometimes.

“The best part as a parent was, as it was all happening and we were realizing our trip was off, my kids (ages 9, 12, 14) didn’t get upset or blame me,” said Arlene.  “They said things like, “Mom, how could you have known about the passport? I mean, it was still valid (it expired in June, our trip was in March)” and “Mom, I’m so sorry for you, you’ve spent so much time planning.”

Arlene said, “It was a wonderful lesson on disappointment and that sometimes what you are excited about doesn’t come to pass…and that life moves on.  That was a really good lesson for all of us.”

What an inspiration to see how the Pellicane family regrouped and made the most of their family time together!

At the airport, the Wurths found out the only option was for Danielle and her sons to fly to Mexico as planned and for Phil to drive on Monday morning to the main passport office in Tucson (2 hours away). Danielle says, she hated to leave him behind and start their vacation without him, but they had no other choice.

“It was a gut-wrenching experience traveling internationally without Phil, who worked hard to plan the trip, and then was the one left behind,” said Danielle. “Having family dinner on vacation with one empty chair was bizarre and felt so out of place.” Luckily, he was able to fly out and join the family on Tuesday.

3. Our mistakes help other people

I’m so happy that my friends chose to vulnerably put their stories online in order to help others learn from their mistakes.

“Mistakes happen and lessons will be learned, but it’s important to be flexible, create a new game plan and a year from now it will be a great story in our family,” says Danielle.

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Use social media as a way to help people learn and grow from your experiences and mishaps. My friends’ stories helped our family and just maybe their misfortune will help you too!

3 Ways to Avoid a Passport Fail

1. Always keep your passport current

In today’s Amazon culture, we are used to being able to get anything we need immediately. Unfortunately, Passports are not one of them. You have to plan ahead.

Even if you don’t have any upcoming international travel planned, a family member might be traveling overseas and you want to be able to fly to them if necessary.

My friend, Kim McAvoy, learned this the hard way. Her mother was traveling in Budapest, Hungary when she fell stepping off a tour bus, hit her head and ended up in the hospital where she later died. Kim was unable to travel with her Dad and brothers because her passport had expired.

TIP: Make it a habit to check the expiration dates of your family passports at the beginning of every year.

2. Ensure 6 months of validity beyond your scheduled travel dates

Go ahead and renew your passport 6-9 months before you are to travel. Many countries won’t allow you to board the plane if your passport will expire in less than 6 months from your departure date.

Passports for applicants 16 and older are good for 10 years. Passports for children under the age of 16 are only valid for 5 years. Go ahead and renew early so you don’t have any emergencies.

Travel Smart: 6 Epic Travel Fails to Avoid 

Depending on where you live there are Emergency Passport locations which will expedite the process for a hefty fee. Desperate times call for desperate measures, but why not be proactive and avoid wasting your hard earned money.

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3. Make sure your passport is in proper condition

An expired passport is a common mistake, but it’s not the only one. You also need to make certain that your passport is not damaged in any way and also has enough blank pages available for travel.

Many countries require travelers to have at least two consecutive blank pages in their passports, while some even require four. Be sure to have more pages than you need for entry requirements. Passport and visa requirements can vary widely from one country to the next, and even seemingly insignificant violations can derail your travel plans.

For extensive online travel information, go to: https://travel.state.gov/

To avoid getting left behind at the airport, stranded at a border crossing or having to cancel your trip all together, make it a priority to keep your passport up to date and in good condition. 

Have you ever had a passport fail that derailed your travel plans? 

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6 Things You Should Do When Your Kid Has a Smartphone

Whose bright idea was it to think that giving our youth iPhones was a good idea?

And why have we continued to follow along knowing that giving our kids these powerful digital devices isn’t smart?

I’m not sure how our family fell into society’s technology trap, but we did. Our teenagers have personal smartphones, but they don’t come without limits, rules, and restrictions.

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1. Have a family cell phone contract

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HAPPY CAMPERS: New Book Review and Giveaway

Our screen-obsessed, competitive society makes it harder than ever to raise happy, thriving kids. But there are tried-and-true methods that can help. Instead of rearing a generation of children who are overwhelmed, anxious, depressed, and who struggle to become independent, responsible adults, parents can create a culture that promotes the growth of important character traits and the social skills kids need for meaningful, successful lives.

There are many reasons my husband and I choose to send our teenagers away to overnight camp far from home for a few weeks each summer. I love that Camp Owner and Mother of 5, Audrey Monke compiled the most important lessons gained at summer camp into her book Happy Campers: 9 Summer Camp Secrets for Raising Kids Who Become Thriving Adults. Whether you send your kids off to camp or not, Audrey gives us the secrets to live out the camp ideals in the comfort of our homes.

5 Reasons We Send our Kids to Sleep Away Summer Camp

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Research has proven that kids are happier and gain essential social and emotional skills at camp. A recognized parenting expert, Audrey Monke distills what she’s learned from thousands of interactions with campers, camp counselors, and parents, and from her research in positive psychology, to offer intentional strategies parents can use to foster the benefits of camp at home.

In Happy Campers, Audrey shares nine powerful parenting techniques- inspired by the research-based practices of summer camp- to help kids thrive and families become closer.

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3 Ways to Create Healthier Screen Time Habits

Navigating technology has become the biggest challenge we face as parents today. As we raise our children amidst the omnipresence of digital devices, it’s not necessarily the gadgets themselves that are the issue; rather, it’s our consumption habits and the time we spend engrossed in screens that demand scrutiny.

In this modern era, it’s imperative that we carve out intentional screen-free time and spaces in our children’s lives, fostering a healthy balance between virtual and real-world experiences.

Here are 3 Ways to Create Healthier Screen Time Habits in Your Home

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4 Tips For Giving Kids an Allowance 

Don’t pay your kid for scoring goals in a game.

Don’t pay them for achieving A’s on their report card or for eating their vegetables.

Don’t pay your child for doing the dishes, sweeping the floor, or scrubbing their toilet.

Instead pay your child a consistent allowance because he is a contributing, valued member of your family and you want to raise a financially responsible person.

The pay-for-performance debate has been a subject of discussion for families for generations. If we don’t tie the money we pay our kids to chores, grades, or other accomplishments, then why give them an allowance at all? 

One way we can teach children financial responsibility is by giving them a consistent allowance and then helping our son or daughter learn how to save, spend, and give their money away.

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The Promposal: Is it Modern-Day Chivalry or Nonsense?

It’s that time of year when teenage boys around America are expected to put on a production to ask a girl to the traditional high school dance.

Is the Promposal modern-day chivalry or plain nonsense?

After a long day of school and varsity baseball practice, my son and his friend trudged through our house carrying an armload of art supplies and poster boards.

When my son should be spending time on his physics homework or hanging out with his grandparents who are visiting from out of town, he has to design a sloganed poster to invite his girlfriend to the upcoming junior prom.

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My parents, who attended high school prom together, can’t believe this is what’s going on today. Knowing teenage boys don’t naturally do this sort of thing, my Dad asked his grandson and his friend if they feel like decorating posters? 

“Not really. But, the girls want us to do it.”

Sure they like the girl. Sure they want to take her to the dance. It’s been a high school rite of passage through the generations. Neither my Grandpa, my Dad nor my husband ever had to invite their date to prom with anything other than their words, so why are our sons now expected to conjure up a themed presentation to ask a girl to the dance?

As if teenage guys don’t have enough on their plate today, they must now come up with a cheesy proposal production as is the societal norm. He’d better not think of asking a girl to the dance without at least a decorated poster board in hand or he would be considered unthoughtful, uncaring or rude.

Why are our sons expected to put on a proposal production to ask a date to prom?

What happened to just a good guy asking a sweet girl to the high school dance?

How come that’s no longer acceptable?

Why do we insist on turning what should be a simple invitation into a production today?

Because there wouldn’t be anything post-worthy for social media if there weren’t a production, and we all know how much everyone loves a good curated photo for the feed.

And forget the decorated poster board. Some take it to another level buying oversized teddy bears, shoes, jewelry, and the list goes on. I’m sure the bigger, the better. Check out this post or your kids’ social media feeds if you don’t believe me.

The promposal production seems like another great way to try and one-up each other too. Oh, your guy only decorated a poster for you? Well, check out what my man (or his Mom) did for me…. and the comparison game is on. Just what our youth need.

I’m having a tough time wrapping my head around the concept and why we’re accepting this nonsense to be commonplace now.

What type of marriage proposal are girls going to expect one day if they need a song and dance to accept an invitation to a high school dance?

Our daughter said she thinks the promposal idea is “cute.” I explained to her that it’s adorable when she and her girlfriends make posters for one another’s birthdays and bring them to middle school to celebrate. There is nothing cute about expecting a young man to design a presentation to ask you to prom.

Let’s stop putting pressure on kids to have to put on a post-worthy show for what should be a simple invitation to a timeless high school event.

Let’s put our efforts into raising confident and kind young men and women who don’t need a showy production to feel good about themselves or to enjoy their lives.

Let’s begin to tell our kids that a post-worthy promposal production is not necessary.

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How to Start a Blessing Jar Tradition

See a penny pick it up, and all the day you’ll have good luck.

Or perhaps the copper coin can instead bless another as you drop it into your family Blessing Jar.

For years, I wanted to start a Christmas Jar in our family. I loved the idea, wanted to do the tradition, but I constantly forgot to start it…. until last year. And now this particular tradition is one of our family favorites.

We renamed it our family Blessing Jar and use it a little differently than is expressed in the Christmas Jar book, but the overall purpose is the same- to take the time to think of giving to others throughout the entire year.

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How to Start your Blessing Jar Tradition

While raising my five children, I seek out ways to naturally teach my sons and daughter how to think of others before themselves and regularly be a blessing to other people in simple and significant ways. The Blessing Jar is a perfect way to authentically teach the values I want my kids to have as well as build an overall giving family culture.

What You Need to Begin Your Blessing Jar Tradition

Grab a random empty glass jar and set it in a prominent area of your home where your family members frequently reside. Designate the jar as your 2019 family Blessing Jar and begin dropping coins and bills into the glass jar all year long.

Fill the jar with unexpected money you find or receive throughout the entire year.

We fill our Blessing Jar with coins that we find laying on the ground in parking lots; bills that were accidentally left in pockets and appear in the dryer; unclaimed piles of coins left around the house and money received for helping people who wouldn’t accept our help for free.

This year’s jar reminded me of precious moments like the time when we were vacationing in California, and two of our sons pushed a dead golf cart up a steep hill to get it home for a group of stranded girls. The boys tried to refuse the cash the girls insisted they take for helping them. So, they gave it to me and asked me to put it in our Blessing Jar.

Without this intentional tradition in place, I guarantee that money would’ve just gone right into their pockets because there would’ve been nowhere else for it to go. We must intentionally give our children opportunities to bless others before themselves and the Blessing Jar does precisely that.

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At the beginning of the year, my husband came home from the gym and dropped this crumpled one dollar bill into our jar. He said no one was around to claim it, so he picked it up to add to our Blessing Jar. If we didn’t have this tradition, I guarantee he wouldn’t have cared even to grab that money. I most certainly would’ve never heard about it even if he had.

Make One Purposeful Choice

Each year, I purposely don’t purchase or do something I would usually do in December and instead gift that money to the jar instead. For instance, this year is the first time I didn’t send out a photo Christmas card of our family and instead put that money I would’ve spent in our Blessing Jar.

The Blessing Jar is a simple family tradition that gives us an avenue to authentically talk with our children about our spending choices and our giving. It’s so much fun to watch the jar organically fill up throughout the year and even more meaningful to gather together as a family the week before Christmas and decide who we want to receive our Blessing Jar.

4 Ways to Create Meaning in A Glass Jar!

A Blessing Jar is an intentional way for your family to have a small, collective purpose throughout the entire year.

It’s simple traditions like this that teach our children the values we want them to leave our home with one day. If you’re looking to begin a meaningful family tradition that will last all year long, consider starting a Blessing Jar of your own come January 1!

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DRIVEALOGUE- A Tool For Driving Brave Family Conversations

Want to know what your child is dealing with out in the world when it comes to peer relationships? Their self-concept? How about their thoughts on difficult topics like sexuality, social media, technology, or drugs and alcohol?

Thanks to Adam Brooks new product, Drivealogue, parents now have a more natural way to discuss tough and timely issues with their kids. His conversation starter packs get us adults intentionally talking to our children about topics more meaningful than what we ate for lunch or what grade was achieved on that math test.

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Adam Brooks’ new product, Drivealogue, challenges parents to have brave conversations with their kids.

Brooks, the founder of Youth Awareness and Safety, was concerned about the heightened rate of youth suicide in Arizona and wanted to make a product that would allow parents to engage in tough conversations with their children proactively.

“My cards were designed to have meaningful, brave conversations that we may not even want to have, but that we desperately have to have if we’re going to keep our kids safe today,” said Brooks.

5 Things Parents Must Tell Their Children

Brooks came up with the concept of using his card game in the car because he had read that kids were more likely to open up and freely communicate with adults if they didn’t have to make direct eye contact. Not only that, but today’s reality finds parents spending more time in the car shuttling kids around to activities, so why not make a product to help us forge more meaningful conversations during our time on the road together.

Drivealogue-Family-Communication-Parenting-Tool

Drivealogue features three unique card decks meant for different age groups- for elementary, middle and high school-aged kids.

The cards feature questions like:

“What would you do if someone sent you a nude photo?”

“What would you do if someone who you were friends with in elementary school started ignoring you in middle school?”

8 Ways to Combat the Stress of Growing Up in Today’s Competitive Culture

There are also many lighthearted cards scattered throughout the decks as well, with questions like “What if you started a video channel. What would it be about?”

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At $20 each, Drivealogue card decks make the perfect family hostess gift this holiday season! To order or learn more, click HERE!

 

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Want to be a Happier Parent this School Year? Book Review and Giveaway!

What would it look like to be a happier parent this school year?

Is it really possible for us to find more happiness amidst the chaos of the hectic school morning routine, the homework, the sibling drama and once again telling your kids to put away the screens while eating breakfast?

My friend, Lori, exudes happiness in her annual back-to-school photo tradition! Isn’t she the best?

New York Times contributor and writer KJ Dell’Antonia’s tells us HOW we can regain our happiness in parenthood in her brand new book, How to Be A Happier Parent- Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute.

As a mother of four, KJ found herself wondering if this whole parenthood thing had to be so difficult on most days. She wanted to enjoy motherhood more than she was. But, the workload was overwhelming. She questioned why she wasn’t more satisfied with her life as a parent. So she set out to find out how we can bring more happiness, and even fun to the ordinary days that make up the measure of our lives.

I consider myself overall to be a happy parent. But, I learned long ago that getting in a school pick up or drop off line was not setting me up for success in the parental happiness department. Neither was helping with math homework or making school lunches for my capable 16-year-olds. So, instead, I taught my people long ago how to be in charge of their own existence.

And low and beyond this is #1 on KJ’s list of what happier parents do well.

  1. Shift from heavier involvement to fostering independence in their children as they become more capable. (Stop doing these things for your teen this school year)
  2. They don’t put their children’s everyday needs before their own. (Can I get a hallelujah?)
  3. They look for the good in the day to day experiences. (Yes, you too can find joy in the pb&j sandwich. Dig deep.)
  4. They know what’s really important and what’s just noise and fury. (Yep, we gotta remember not to major in the minor.)

I love everything about this book- from the cute cover design to choosing the chapter I need right now to help with a problem area in our family. If it’s meal times, chores, sibling rivalry, discipline, screens… you name the thief of your parental joy and it’s most likely in here.

Through interviews with educators and experts along with her personal stories, KJ gives us lots of helpful tips, strategies, and inspirations to shift our mindsets and create new habits in order to find more happiness in our role as Mom or Dad today.

And just because my capable children wouldn’t want me to be too happy, they continue to leave me plenty of reminders that I am still dearly needed.

With a new school year upon us, How to Be A Happier Parent is a well-timed reminder that a satisfying family life isn’t about hauling kids around and eventually dropping them off at destination success. It’s about finding real happiness during our journey of parenthood, and this book will help you figure out just how to do that.

COMMENT TO WIN – HOW TO BE A HAPPIER PARENT BOOK

KJ sent me a copy of her brand new book How to Be A Happier Parent- Raising a Family, Having a Life, and Loving (Almost) Every Minute. to give away to one of you lucky readers!

Comment below on why you want to be a happier parent for your chance to win! One lucky winner will be chosen at random on October 19. Must be a US resident to win.

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9 Ways to Deliberately Design Your Summer

Childhood is short.
Summer is even shorter.
God willing, eighteen summers are what we get with our children at home full-time in our nest.

How will your family spend this precious summer season?

While June, July, and August may be perfect for lazy days and relaxation, we mustn’t make the mistake of aimlessly drifting through the summer months without purposely making a proactive plan for our family.

What exactly is it that you want and need?

I love that summer provides my teenagers mornings to sleep in and time to rest and recover from their normally stressful high school scheduled programming. Yet, more downtime equates to more screen time if we’re not mindful.

How can we get our kids off screens and make this summer count?

I know this summer of ours matters yet how do we make the most of it despite our realities and circumstances?

We must decide to deliberately design our summers.

9 Ways to Deliberately Design Your Summer

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