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7 Ways to Create A Summer of Significance

Childhood is short. Summer is even shorter.

God willing, we only get 18 summers with our kids, so how can we bring significance to this summer despite whatever our circumstances may be?

1. Strengthen your family values and purpose

Have you taken the time to claim your core values and purpose for raising your kids? It will be nearly impossible to live out a summer of significance if you haven’t taken the time to define what ‘significant’ even means to you.

Start by defining your core values and what it is you want to instill in your children while they are growing up under your care. 

What do you want your son or daughter armored with when they leave your home one day headed into adulthood?

Claim it. Name it and strive to live it out this summer.

2. Prioritize play

Let’s take a deep breath and think about how you can bring more fun to your simple summer days.

How about planning a themed family dinner night? We still talk about the backward dinners we did when our kids were younger, where we all came to dinner wearing backward clothing and started our meal with dessert and ended with salad.

What is it that brings your family joy when you do it together? Plan more of THAT to create significant summer moments and memories for your family.

Click HERE for FREE ideas for being more playful this summer! (Be sure to look for my Boredom Bucket idea for helping kids to be playful on their own!)

3. Cultivate an atmosphere of growth

What’s something that didn’t go so well for your child during this school year? Focus on strengthening that area this summer.

While it’s important to play and relax, it’s also crucial to keep learning and growing through the summer months.

For instance, I’m so tired of online learning and am looking for ways to help my youngest keep up with his math skills. This summer we’re using Learning Math Wrap-Ups to strengthen his multiplication and division facts.Learning-wrap-ups-math-learning-palette

4. Teach life skills

Having the kids at home provides a perfect opportunity to teach them what it is we want them to know before they leave our homes for adulthood one day.

This summer we can take the opportunity to teach our children how to do their own laundry, cook, clean, or change a tire. Perhaps you can finally open that bank account or help your child start a business. Or simply teach them to tie their shoes or handwrite, address, and mail a thank you note.

What life skills will you purposely teach your child this summer?

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GET MY SUMMER LIFE SKILLS- FOR TODDLERS THROUGH TEENS- PRINTABLES

5. Make mindful entertainment choices

Binge-watching random television shows, scrolling social media constantly, or playing video games non-stop isn’t a good use of our child’s time. Sure, there may be space for mindless entertainment choices this summer, but we must purposely set boundaries on them, so they don’t consume our days.

Why not purposely choose documentaries to educate yourself as well as create conversation in your family this summer?

What healthy entertainment choices will you choose for your family this summer?

4 Ways to Save Your Sanity with a Summer Screentime Strategy

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6. Go on local adventures

Unfortunately, our epic trips, along with many other things are still on hold for this summer. As disappointing as not going on that cruise or European vacation may be, we have to pivot and plan for simpler adventures this summer.

Where can you plan to go explore, get out in nature, and enjoy the outdoors where you live?

Most likely, you don’t have to venture further than your home state for family fun. Many times we take for granted the beautiful places that surround us locally that we’ve never taken the time to visit… yet.

What adventures will you create this summer that will add to your family narrative and strengthen your relationships?

7. Celebrate life, and loved ones, in simple ways

What can you do to celebrate Dad on Father’s Day so that he feels special and loved?

When my kids were younger, they loved it when I planned a special day for each of them. My sons and daughter got to pick what they wanted to eat for breakfast in bed and what our family would do (within reason) that day.

In my Create a Summer of Significance Printable Pack, you will get monthly celebration calendars for you to plan your June, July, and August, as well as a fun fill-in-the-blank All About Dad printable for Father’s Day.

Questions to Ask Yourself-

  • What does each family member need this summer to strengthen them physically, mentally, emotionally, and relationally?
  • What frustrated you the most this school year? Work on improving that area this summer so that when school rolls around again you may have established better habits.
  • What summer family tradition can you repeat again this year? Summer wouldn’t be summer without this…. bike rides to the bagel shop or boating on the lake. What are the simple things your family does together that can happen this summer?

What is a way that you strive to create a Summer of Significance?

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3 Things to Teach Your High Schooler Before They Go to College

As my firstborn sons wind down their senior year of high school, I question what I still need to teach them over these next couple of months before launching them off to their respective college campuses come August.

One area where we parents seem to fall short in our teaching is helping our son or daughter manage their health.

In general, we do a relatively good job of talking with our kids about the importance of eating a healthy diet while getting proper exercise and plenty of sleep. Yet, are we failing to prepare our kids to manage their health when they leave our homes?

From the many stories I’ve heard from doctors and nurses, I’m thinking so.

12 GIFTS TO GIVE YOUR HIGH SCHOOL SENIOR FOR GRADUATION

Emergency Room Nurse Charity Hollywood says she consistently sees ill-equipped young adults stream into the emergency room where she works near a large university campus in Arizona. She says that she is striving to raise her 6-year old twin sons to be confident and capable from a young age and encourages other parents to prepare their children better when it comes to managing their health.

What skills do young adults lack when it comes to their health?

What can parents do differently while raising their kids so that they can launch adults who are more confident and capable when managing their health?

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12 Gifts to Give Your High School Senior for Graduation

As I prepare to graduate my firstborn sons from high school and launch them from the safety of our nest this fall, I want to talk about what are the best gifts we can give our Seniors at this special time in our lives.

And guess what….. these gifts won’t cost you much, if anything, at all!

LISTEN IN as my author friend, Dennis Trittin, and I talk about 12 gifts that we think are important to give high school seniors before launching them off into adulthood.

  • Download Dennis’ Resource List: HERE
  • Download Amy’s mock Health History Questionnaire for Teens to practice filling out: HERE
  • Download Amy’s Life Skills for the Launch: HERE
  • Get your personalized college stationery HERE

Who needs some strategies to give your kids Wings, Not Strings, and to launch young adults who can soar with confidence? Wings-Not-Strings-Parenting-Book

 

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A Simple Way to Strengthen Communication with Your Child

In our fast-paced world, finding meaningful ways to connect with our children can sometimes be challenging. However, the dialogue journal is a simple yet powerful tool that has stood the test of time. 

Creating a dialogue journal with your child helps them:

  • Improve their penmanship.
  • Get more comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and ideas through the written word.
  • Think about the thoughts and feelings of another in this interactive form of communication.
  • Create a keepsake from their childhood to be cherished later.

What you need to start a Dialogue Journal

You only need a simple notebook and a writing instrument to start your dialogue journal. Nothing fancy is required. I even like to recycle the kids’ old school notebooks with plenty of unused pages. (Rip out the used pages!)

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As the parent, you begin the journal by writing ‘Dear Son or Daughter’ and the date. Then, tell your child something about your day and ask them a question. Leave the notebook on their bed, or somewhere they will naturally find it. Then, your child is to write you back in the same format, asking you a question as well. The journal gets casually passed back and forth, creating improved penmanship, communication, and a keepsake to cherish.

The beauty lies in the simplicity of the process. Placing the journal on your child’s bed or a familiar spot becomes a silent cue for them to discover your words.

Tips for Elevating Your Dialogue Journal Experience:

  1. Creative Covers: Infuse life into the journal by decorating the cover with memorable photos or inspiring quotes. Let it reflect the essence of your unique relationship.
  2.  Beyond Parent-Child: Extend the practice to friends or loved ones who live locally. A simple drop-off and pick-up can turn your journal into a relationship-building tool. I used this practice to build a relationship with the foster teen I mentored for years. 

Dialogue-Journals-with-foster-children

Strengthen your family communication by starting dialogue journals with your children. Not only will your son or daughter learn pertinent skills doing so, but you will also intentionally create a keepsake to be cherished tomorrow along the way.

Have you done a dialogue journal with your child before?

 

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5 Ways to Parent on Purpose During This Pandemic

This too shall pass. 

As unsettling as living through this pandemic is, we need to remember that this season of Coronavirus confinement is just that- a season. It will eventually end. And if we don’t let our grievances and circumstances consume us, we can proactively use this time to our advantage in simple ways.

Let’s purposely respond to our new reality instead of react our way through it.

How do you want to feel when this is all over? 

How do you want your family to be strengthened because of this period of unexpected time together?

If quarantine ended tomorrow, what would you be disappointed if you didn’t do?

There is no denying that what we’re going through is crazy on all levels. But, amidst the chaos, there is beautiful opportunity if we choose to bravely seek it out.

Here are 5 Ways to Parent on Purpose During this Pandemic

1.  Bring back a childhood family dinner tradition OR start a new one

Our calendars typically prohibit us from gathering around the table as a family often. As we find ourselves spending time eating more meals together, why not bring back a tradition from the past or start something fresh and new?

This time of Coronavirus confinement is the perfect time to gather around our family tables with purpose. It doesn’t matter if we are supporting local businesses and ordering our meals in, or if we’re trying new recipes and preparing them with our kids, or barely getting prepackaged food on the table. What we are eating doesn’t matter near like how we are spending our time together doing it.

Family-Dinner-Traditions-During-Coronavirus

We brought ‘Highs and Lows’ back to our family dinnertime, each of us sharing what the best and worst thing about our day was. This can be a stretch considering we aren’t doing a whole lot these days, which makes us dig deeper perhaps to find gratitude for the simple things in our lives right now.

How about using conversation starters to keep you at the table talking longer? Here are some of my favorites by local Arizona makers: CLICK HERE.

What family tradition can you restart during this time of confinement?

Or what’s something fun you’d like to begin?

2. Teach life skills

My teens are home doing online school; therefore, I am not necessarily homeschooling my high schoolers. But, I am taking advantage of this unique opportunity we have together at home to teach my sons and daughter some real-life skills that our regular lives haven’t allowed the time for.

What is it that your kids are going to need to know when they leave your house for adulthood? What is it that you can take the time to teach them today toward the goal of sending off a capable, confident, responsible adult one day?

If you have toddlers, teenagers or kids in between, there is so much you can (and need to) teach them. Only you know what your child still needs to learn. Is it to tie their shoes or change a tire on the family car? Perhaps it’s merely to learn family members’ phone numbers or their Social Security number?

Make a list of life skills you want to try to teach during this season of quarantine or print off my life skills for the launch checklist HERE.

3. Cultivate a playful home

I don’t know about you, but watching my sons and daughter stare at screens more is not good for me (or them!) so knowing we want our kids on devices less, means we need to purposely set up our homes with more opportunities for play and creativity.

Cultivate-A-Playful-Home-During-Coronavirus

We replaced my beautiful candle holder with this Hook It Game from Kidstop Toys and it is so much fun! The rings are rubber so no damage is done!

Temporarily replace some of your home decor with games or opportunities for your family members to engage in play together. (Kidstop Toys will ship this game or any others to you so check out their website HERE.) We set up a folding table in the living room for continuous puzzles. Our ping pong table is dusted off and games have been pulled out of hibernation.

How can you purposely place pockets of play throughout your house?

4. Live out your values

Our kids are watching how we are handling this Coronavirus crazy time. It’s crucial that we model for our children how to live this unsettling time out in faith and not in fear. This doesn’t mean that we will do it perfectly, because we won’t. Unfortunately, we’re human, and it’s good for our kids to see that.

This is the perfect time to talk as a family about how you can help, serve and support others from home right now. Are their local small businesses or restaurants you can order from to help them stay afloat during this time? What about a favorite online small retailer? Can you pick up extra groceries for someone in need?

How can you serve your friends, family and community members while staying safe and socially distant?

5. Bravely embrace boredom

There’s no better time than the present than to allow our children to be bored. We need to purposely put away the screens and send our kids outside or to their room to figure out how to entertain themselves by themselves. We want our kids to learn that they don’t need to turn to adults to figure out how to occupy their time.

My tech expert friend, Tom Kersting, recently said that “Boredom is miracle grow for the brain” and I have to agree.

Boredom-Bucket- for-Kids

You can even make your kids a boredom bucket, bin or box that they can turn to for creative activities when they aren’t quite sure what to do with themselves.

What are other ways you are choosing to parent on purpose during this pandemic?
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5 Ways to Parent on Purpose Today

My Mom was rarely confused about her role as a parental authority figure when raising my sister and me. She knew that her “job” was to raise adults who could capably move out of her home at the age of majority. She didn’t worry about my grades in school or my performance on my softball or tennis teams.

Yet, how we tend to raise children today bears little resemblance. How can we better parent on purpose today to send capable, confident, and compassionate adults into the world tomorrow?

5 Ways to Parent on Purpose This Year and Beyond

1. Be the parent, not the pal

My Mom didn’t feel the need to make sure I was happy and be my friend while growing up. Yet somehow, I struggle to create boundaries and say no to things that will make my child unhappy with me, even though I know it’s for their benefit.

When I remember that my goal should not be to make my child happy but to train and help my sons and daughter understand how the world works so that they can move into it one day as capable people, it is much easier to lead them. When we strive for friendship with our children during adolescence, we miss out on the opportunity to provide the parental guidance that our kids desperately need in this chaotic culture they are growing up in.

Remember to surround yourself with friends your age and be confident in being the adult role model that your son or daughter needs.

2. Claim your destination

Where are you headed when raising your child today?

Too often, we spend our days of full-time parenthood reacting to what comes our way. Instead, we need to parent today, remembering that our goal is to launch our son or daughter into adulthood one day. What do you want your child armored with as they walk out the door of your home into the real world? Begin to teach them those skills and strengthen those values today.

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When adulthood is our end goal for raising our kids, we will better remember to teach them relevant life skills as they grow. We will allow them to make mistakes and problem-solve independently because we understand they will need critical thinking skills when they leave our home as adults one day.

3. Redefine success

Childhood was meant to be something other than a season for building a resume to get into college.

Stop today and define what success looks like to you. Who do you want your child to be as a young adult walking out the door of your home? What character traits do you want them to be armored with as you send them off to college, the armed forces, the workplace, or wherever they may go upon leaving your home?

Redefine-Success-Parent-on-PurposeIt’s great that this son of mine performed well in school and on his travel hockey team, but when I stop and define success for him as a man, it is not his high achievement or performance that matters. His loving heart, soul, and character will sustain him and develop him into a caring and loyal husband, father, and neighbor.

The problem arises when we become so focused on our kids’ achievement and performance that we forget to create opportunities to help our children become the type of people we want to launch into the world.

4. Teach your children what you want them to know

No matter what age or stage your child might be at, they can and should be learning life skills.

Toddlers and busy teenagers can do chores. We’ve just got to slow down and let them. We want to send capable adults into the world who know how to get themselves up on time in the mornings and who don’t always rely on Siri or Mom to solve their problems.

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Expect your child to help out around the house. Yes, it is easier for you to do everything yourself, but that’s not teaching your son or daughter any skills but to sit and be served.

5. Let another’s hindsight be your insight

Learn from those who go before you.

In my book, I discuss the strategy of parenting six years ahead by looking at what parents are facing six years ahead of where you are currently parenting. Watch how others around you lead their children regarding technology, schooling, social boundaries, and more. Learn from their successes and mistakes. Become confident in making decisions for your children based on family values.

Join a parent group in your area and learn from those who go before you. We were not meant to raise children alone, so learn from your community. Read, learn, watch, and grow from the insight of others, and then have the confidence to raise your child with your parental instincts.

Parenting on purpose takes effort. But I guarantee the efforts you put in now will pay off later as you watch your children grow into capable, confident, and compassionate people this year and beyond.

What are other ways that help you parent your children on purpose?

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14 Hearts of Love: A Meaningful Valentine’s Tradition

One gift you may want to give your family members this year for Valentine’s Day is 14 Hearts of Loving Affirmation because there’s nothing better we can do than speak and write loving truths to our loved ones. And it’s free!

It’s never too late to start this easy yet meaningful Valentine’s Day tradition in your home!

(I’ve even given you a printable below to help you get started!)14-hearts-valentines-february-tradition

The 14 Hearts of Loving Affirmation Valentine’s Tradition

  • Take the time to write out 14 loving affirmations or messages on paper hearts for each of your children. (You can print them HERE.)
  • Beginning on Feb. 1, tack one heart a day (until Valentine’s Day) on your child’s bedroom door or wherever makes the most sense in your home. You can put the handwritten hearts of love on your child’s bathroom mirror or wherever they’ll see them while getting ready for school in the morning or going to bed at night.

OR If doing this daily for two weeks isn’t possible or seems daunting, put all of the hearts up at once and surprise your loved one on Valentine’s Day! Make the tradition work for you!

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Why You Need to Make Your Bed

How we choose to start our day matters.

My husband and I have an unwritten rule that whoever gets up last is in charge of making up the bed. The entire bed. Decorative pillows and all.

For a long time, I would get up and contemplate if anyone was coming over during the day who might wander in and see my unmade bed. If not, there would be no harm in leaving it undone, right?

We’re only harming ourselves when we take shortcuts and avoid making small efforts.

Does it matter if we make our bed or not?

Starting the day off with this one simple accomplishment sets you up for success. I walk past my bed many times a day and notice when it’s pretty and pulled together. Simple efforts do make a difference.

Once I saw this video, we’ve made our bed every morning since and encouraged our kids to do the same. It is an excellent reminder of the payoff of simple daily efforts in our lives. 

How you do anything is how you do everything. 

There are enough tasks for our teens to complete on early school mornings that making the bed in our home isn’t required, but its importance is a subject of conversation in our family. Some mornings I check the kids’ bedrooms and shoot off a text on our family chat stating 3/5 taking note of how many kids accomplished the morning task on their own. 

I don’t need to battle my kids when it comes to the simple task of making their beds, but I do want them to understand the importance of accomplishing minor everyday tasks. Our youngest son makes his bed every day without fail because it was a habit ingrained in him from living in his foster care group home for years.

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If we begin shortcutting the simple things, how will we ever be successful in the big stuff? It’s a great topic of conversation to have with our kids for sure.

Do you make your bed first thing in the morning? Do your kids?

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6 Things Parents Should Not Debate With Their Child’s Coach

When did it become okay for moms and dads to rant and rave in the stands and feel entitled to text, email and call up their child’s coaches about anything that rubs them wrong?

I recently read this article about a high school coach who left her coaching position because of the overinvolvement of parents. Unfortunately, this narrative is becoming commonplace at all levels of youth sports.

How did my husband Keith ever make it to the NHL without his parents intervening?

My Father-in-law, Jack, says that he never once questioned a coach (good or bad) during Keith’s ENTIRE youth hockey career. Jack also coached football himself and said that he had to ask kids to track down their parents if he ever needed them because they were nowhere to be found.

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We don’t have a problem tracking down parents anymore.

They are found on every sideline and set of bleachers today and have made their child’s sport a priority in their adult life.

The problem is that many parents are negatively making their presence known today.

Parents overinvolvement affects our children’s sports experience and their overall love and passion for the game. Three of my five children have played high-level multi-sports, so I get the intensity of it all, but there are certain things parents should refrain from bugging the coaches about.

Let’s begin giving the game back to the kids by letting the athlete be the athlete, and the Coach be the Coach.

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Why You Should Make Family Meetings A Habit in Your Home (Whether You Have Toddlers or Teens)

Growing up, I hung out at my best friend Mary’s house a lot, and, every once in a while, Mary’s mom would tell me it was time for their family conference and that I was going to need to leave. As my two feet carried me home, I thought about how their family ritual seemed strange. My parents didn’t do this sort of thing in our home, so why would my friend’s family need to have meetings when we didn’t?

As I aged, I began to appreciate the fact that Mary’s family set aside sacred time for them and them alone. Her Mom wasn’t worried about catering to me or anyone else that she had to send away to protect their family time. They had an intentional system to connect, and I carried that idea forward into my family today.

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WHY SHOULD PARENTS CREATE A HABIT OF HOLDING FAMILY MEETINGS?

Because families today are going in all directions. Holding mindful family meetings is a way to slow down and purposely connect with your family members regularly. These meetings are a relaxed way for everyone to gather and communicate together.

Family meetings are a time to get honest about the strengths and weaknesses of your family and to talk about how things are going within your family unit and individually. Family meetings are meant to be fun and promote a sense of belonging.

HOW OFTEN SHOULD YOU HOLD FAMILY MEETINGS?

Weekly? Monthly? Quarterly?

Decide what works for your family according to your current schedule. If you have younger kids, it will be easier to meet up around the family table for weekly meetings. As kids get older, this becomes more difficult, although just as important. 

Adriane Thompson of Raising Kids With Purpose says she and her husband, along with their three sons ages 9, 6, and 1, meet on Sunday evenings, and “the meetings are usually a mix of screaming, running around, dancing, and cheering with a dash of order.” She says that even with the chaos, something amazing happens:

  • Our kids have input on decisions that impact them.
  • Problems or challenges get addressed in a judgment-free zone.
  • Our family values are highlighted and reiterated.
  • We find out if something is going on with someone that didn’t come up during the week.
  • Everyone feels like they are part of something bigger than themselves and that they have others cheering them on.
  • Chores and family contributions are assigned.

HOW LONG SHOULD YOUR FAMILY MEETING LAST?

Adriane says they keep their weekly family meeting to 15 minutes. “When we first started having meetings, we would all say something nice about each person in our family. Then once all the compliments were finished, that person would get to dance around the house hearing us chant their name. My toddler loved this part. But what ended up happening was the meeting got dragged out making it too long to keep attention,” she said.

WHERE SHOULD YOU HOLD YOUR FAMILY MEETINGS?

I want our “formal” dining room table to be a place where we regularly gather for connective tech-free time together, so this is where we hold our meetings.

The Thompsons prefer to switch up where they meet, and Adriane says, “You may even want to consider changing it up once a month and doing it at a park, a froyo place, Chick-fil-A or somewhere where the kids can have fun afterward.”

FIGURE OUT YOUR PURPOSE 

Claim what it is you want to accomplish through holding your family meetings.

“The goal of a Family Meeting should be to open communication between everyone in the family. Allowing our kids to have a voice gives them autonomy, but also in this type of environment they can get a lot of guidance and know who is ultimately in charge,” says Adriane.

SET THE MOOD

Purposely set the mood and tone of the room to match how you want your family meeting to feel. Do you want it to be fun and upbeat, or do you want it to be serene and serious? Our family meetings always include a dessert, and I light candles so that the space feels calm and inviting.

Adriane agrees to include a special treat for the kids to enjoy during the meeting. “This can be anything from popcorn, special smoothies, muffins to frozen yogurt. Our kids aren’t used to getting a lot of sweet treats, so a family meeting is a perfect time to let them indulge a little,” she says.

END THE MEETING WITH A FUN RITUAL OR FAMILY EVENT

When you have younger kids, you can add an element of fun to the very end of the meeting, such as a dance party or something silly.

For those with older kids, Audrey Monke, Mother of 5 and Writer at Sunshine Parenting says, “Playing a board game or watching your favorite TV show together could be a reward for having the meeting.”

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PLAN YOUR AGENDA

Both Adriane and I, have Family Meeting Agendas that we print out and use for our family meetings, while Audrey says, “You don’t have to get fancy with your agenda. We keep ours on a legal pad, and we take turns being the “chair” of the meeting. Leading the session is good communication practice for kids.”

DOWNLOAD ADRIANE’S WEEKLY FAMILY AGENDA HERE

HERE’S WHAT TO INCLUDE ON YOUR AGENDA

  • What’s working well in your family, and what’s not working so well?
  • What changes do we need to make and what do we want to keep the same?
  • Talk about a value or life skill you want to strengthen.
  • Discuss how well you are serving and loving other people.
  • Coordinate the Family Calendar.
  • Discuss any needs for school or work projects, so you get out of the habit of running out last minute for that poster board!
  • Do you want to pay allowance or any other rewards?

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HOW TO KICK OFF THE MEETING 

Start By Saying Something Nice

We used to start our family meetings by turning to the person next to us and saying something we loved about them. Complimenting one another no longer flies with teenagers, but that practice certainly made for some sweet memories and strengthened our bonds.

Use Conversation Starters

Our family loves using Conversation Starter products around the table. Our favorites are Togather or Food With Thought.  These questions always seem to lighten the mood of the meeting, and we gain better insight into who one another is. 

Say Highs and Lows

You can also begin with Highs and Lows, where everyone thinks of something positive and something not so positive that recently happened to them.

OTHER GREAT IDEAS TO INCLUDE

Word of the Week

Adriane says her family picks a word from a “words to make you sound smarter” list or “words to study for the SAT,” and they discuss the meaning as well as try to use it throughout the week. I love this idea!

Meal Planning 

Take the time during meetings to plan your weekly dinner menu or to plan for school lunches. Get the whole family involved in what they want to eat for the week and decide who is going to help shop and make the meals too!

No matter if we are raising toddlers or teenagers, we must take the time and make an effort to connect with them regularly. Family meetings tell our kids that they matter. That our family matters. That our thoughts and actions matter.

Setting aside this sacred time for your family, whether it be weekly, monthly or quarterly, is a perfect way to let your kids know you care about them and the overall health of your entire family.

What do you think is important to include in family meetings?

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