Do you know what colleges really want your kids to have?
Authenticity.
Colleges want students to stop working so hard at racking up accomplishments, accumulating extracurricular activities and taking AP courses because they think it will give them an edge.
Focus more on authentic community service.
How do you still carve out time to play as a family as the kids get older? Family game time used to come easily and often in our family. But, as time has progressed that simple down time seems to come at a premium.
Friends, sports and activities leave us little time for family togetherness. It’s up to us as parents to actually schedule in some play time for our families. Now, don’t let the kids know that you’ve got a family fun agenda brewing. That will be a sure way to lose every last one of them to making a plan of their own.
I’ve wanted to ignore the fact that this photo really took place just on the other side of the beautiful city that I live in. Yes, this picture makes me angry. I don’t know these girls at all and I’ve read that they are nice people, but I am embarrassed at their blatant privilege and disrespect. Their racial prank affects all of us.
I get that kids make mistakes. I know that I most certainly did and am glad I was fortunate enough to not have social media haunting my every move. But, I can guarantee I would’ve never posed for a picture like this.
Snuggled on the couch with two of my children, it was time to head off for my weekly visit to mentor my tween, Jen, who lives in a foster care group home.
This particular night, I questioned myself the entire thirty-minute drive. What kind of mother am I? Leaving my own kids to go and spend time with someone else’s? That is until I pulled in to the driveway and saw her peering out the front window eagerly awaiting my arrival.
In that instant, I knew that we must carve out time in our lives to love those who feel unloved.
Our own kids need and deserve our love, but they can’t be the only ones we are willing to give it to. When I saw the joy in Jen’s eyes as I walked to the door, I vowed never to question this purpose again.
Don’t use your family as an excuse for not caring for hurting people. Yes, I miss some time with my kids and husband to spend time with Jen. Thankfully, my children are deeply rooted in love from a wide community of family and friends, where unfortunately many are not. You don’t end up in a group home if you have any stable adult looking out for you.
What exactly is a mentor? A mentor is a person or friend who guides a less experienced person by building trust and modeling positive behaviors. If you have ever wondered if you are making a difference in your life, mentoring is an incredible way to do so.
At Jen’s most recent CFT (Child and Family Team) meeting, everyone involved in her case was raving about her heightened confidence and related all the positive change to our mentoring relationship. Wow.
The power of Mentoring is miraculous. None of us achieve success in life alone. I am slowly building trust with a girl who has no one she can count on in life that isn’t being paid to be there for her. She has been abused, neglected and beat down in her short years. I am humbled to provide her with new experiences while instilling hope for a brighter future, even if it means having to miss some family time once in awhile.
There are many young men and women in foster care who could really use someone like yourself to invest in them. Out of the 10 girls in the group home, Jen is the only one with a mentor. Are you willing to spread love through the gift of your presence?
I am a certified mentor through AASK. Check them out and join me in helping make a difference in the lives of some of our most vulnerable children!
Choosing a word of the year is all the hype. Perhaps you’ve already chosen yours or are in deliberation. Or maybe you have never even thought about letting a word represent the year ahead. It’s thought provoking and pretty painless, so why not? I’ve found that sometimes my choice even inspires others.
Last year my word was deliberate. I went easy on myself and chose a twist on the word intentional, something that I strive to do every day anyway. This year the word I’ve settled on is going to be a difficult one for me.
This year my word is GENTLE.
When I reflect on my 2015, I did a lot of amazing things. I hiked part of the Grand Canyon with a girlfriend. I flew around to some awesome conferences and to visit with family. My husband and I enjoyed some quiet time RVing to pick up the kids from summer camp before we headed off as a family to serve in Mexico. I made a lot of great memories last year.
If I’m honest though what stands out to me the most is how much I nagged and got frustrated with my family last year.
I want to soften my tone and attitude toward my loved ones behind closed doors. The struggle is real friends. I have three teenage sons, an almost teenaged daughter and a very gentle husband who doesn’t quite know what to do with himself most days on this thing called retirement from the NHL.
Keeping my mouth shut will be a task for me. There’s no way to be gentle when you are a nagging, huffing and puffing mother. Change is in order.
Pastor Jamie kicked off a new series at Scottsdale Bible on the Fruits of the Spirit. Ironically, my chosen word is part of the fruit basket. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, GENTLENESS and self-control are what God wants to do within all of us. It’s up to us to cooperate.
In my commitment to become more GENTLE, I vow to:
Lean on our Lord for guidance and help with my word for 2016. I can’t achieve gentleness on my own will.
Respond instead of react. This doesn’t mean ignoring my feelings or thoughts, but perhaps approaching situations so that I don’t walk away with a scratchy throat. Think calm, cool and collected.
Let go of my need to be right. I am a first born, type-A Leo so let’s face it I am rarely wrong. Being gentle doesn’t mean compromising my beliefs, but it does imply that I can be wise and loving in expressing those beliefs to others. Oh Lord, help me now.
Treat my family as I do friends, by honoring them with patience, tolerance and compassion. No one is more deserving than these five who I share an address with.
Judge less. Be gentle with all. Be compassionate and understanding of people I may not know, understand or agree with. Approach everything and everyone softer.
Get less busy. It is a lot easier to be gentle with others, if we are first gentle with ourselves. Too much of anything strips away at my inner peace. With a slowed down, simpler life, I have a greater ability to be gentle because I’m not stressed.
Own my lack of self control, apologize and try again because I will mess up and start going all looney toon on everyone because I’m human. Humans make mistakes but gentle ones can humbly ask for forgiveness and keep working at getting it right.
Have you chosen your word for 2016? How do you feel about my word GENTLE?
Here we are again friends. That first full week in January when the kids head back to school and we are left to regroup after the holiday hustle and bustle. We slowly begin to welcome back our routine and clear our minds to think about the wondorious new year ahead.
Order your This is My Year shirt from the Shine Project!
Just what do you want out of 2016?
I have to admit that I don’t feel the renewed sense of excitement that I normally do when the calendar rolls over into a new year. Usually I have a clearer idea of what it is I want to do. But, this past year I accomplished a lot of great things. I joined a gym that makes me happy. I renewed my faith and was baptized. I gave my heart and soul to friends, family and strangers. I traveled to new places and grew through some adversity.
I do know that I want to be better this year than I was the last. I want to build on strengths and learn from the weaknesses. How do I begin?
Knowing what we want out of 2016 takes starting with a review of our 2015.
Make a simple 2015 timeline
Start one end with January and work your way through the year placing positive events above the line and negative ones below. I looked back through my calendar to do this because Momma’s memory isn’t what it used to be.
What were your defining moments of 2015? Can you see or feel a theme of the year by reviewing your timeline?
After doing this exercise, I saw that 2015 was a year of rebuilding and renewal for me. I knew that it was going to be an interesting year coming off our amazing RV family sabbatical around the USA in 2014. Any time you experience a life changing event/year, it can be tough to bounce back if we’re not intentional in moving forward in our personal growth.
How did you change in 2015?
Are you closer to your friends and family from your activities in 2015? Building meaningful relationship with those I love most is my focus every year.
After reviewing 2015, you should now have a platform to begin your action plan for this year.
Let’s start with yourself.
Your person. Your being. Just you. Forget all those other people who occupy so much of your heart and mind. Your relationship with your own self is crucial to how things will play out for you this year.
Are you taking care of yourself physically, mentally and spiritually? If so, how? If not, how can you do a better job?
What’s something you can plan or do that only benefits you? There is no guilt in taking care of our own soul. You can’t expect to take care of others without first nurturing your own spirit once in awhile.
Are you a difference maker in the lives of others?
What about in your own family?
What do you want to teach your children this year? Think about what you want your offspring to know and feel when it’s time for them to leave your home. Start investing in that. Math is important but don’t let the academics outweigh what’s really important in life.
How can you carve out more time to strengthen your marriage and friendships? Don’t worry as much about how many calories you are consuming, but rather pay more attention to who you are consuming them with.
Are you serving your local community? Find a cause that makes you feel something in your core and put your efforts into it.
What are you doing Globally to make a difference?
We’ve got a whole year ahead and it’s up to us how we are going to spend that time. I’ve got faith in us that we can make 2016 our best year yet!
What excites you about 2016? What’s already on this year’s timeline?
Is the beloved Hoverboard on your kid’s holiday wish list this year?
Are you feeling uncomfortable with the idea, but not sure what to do?
I’m here to help you. Just say no to the Hoverboard purchase.
If you haven’t met Bob Goff or heard him speak yet, do yourself a favor and get him on your 2016 calendar. He will inspire you to love extravagantly and to send more cake pops! He is full of energy and life and spends his professional days as an author, a lawyer and a professor at Pepperdine Law School. He is an amazing Humanitarian spreading love through Uganda and worldwide through Restore International.
A friend sent me Bob’s bestseller Love Does and it was sitting on our family coffee table at the exact moment that my friend, Lain, came over and invited me to go to Storyline, where Bob would be speaking. I call it nothing short of divine intervention and who am I to mess with that!
Yesterday I had one of those Sunday mornings when I really didn’t feel like going to church.
It was one of those Sunday mornings when it felt right that our entire family was home in our pajamas relaxing after coming off a week’s cruise vacation with extended family.
It was one of those Sundays that I would normally be okay staying put.
Something in me really wanted us to all go though.
I threw myself together quickly, knowing I should’ve washed my hair, repainted my chipped up nails and chosen an outfit that I felt better in. Not feeling like myself, I was happy that we were even making the effort to get to church and not getting caught up in our comfortability.
Today was the day I was supposed to get baptized.
This summer I told my family that I wanted to be baptized this exact weekend in November. I was planning to throw a party with good food, yummy drinks and connective fellowship. I wanted to thank all those who have inspired my Christian journey.
As it turned out, I wasn’t going to be able to get baptized this Sunday after all. The classes at Scottsdale Bible Church fell on days that I wasn’t in town. Even though I was disappointed, I figured I had my timing off and told God, next time. I’ll proclaim my faith next time….
Pastor Jamie’s sermon yesterday was short and sweet, but very relatable to me. He talked about those “good people” who live moral lives, but are far from Jesus. That was me most of my entire life. I never saw a need for Jesus as I was a “good” girl. I’m beyond grateful for all of my friends who led me to my understanding of my need for a relationship with Jesus.
It came time for the baptisms and Pastor Jamie said something that I’d never heard in my time at Scottsdale Bible. “Anyone who feels called to commit their life to Christ today, can head out of the sanctuary and meet with a pastor to be baptized after the service.”
He was speaking to me. I knew that today was my day. But, wait. I had wanted a party. I had a guest list even written out. I am not prepared to do this today. I’ll do it next time. I also didn’t want to have to get out of my seat in that middle row at the front of the church. I kept trying to tell myself, this can wait. I’m not ready. I can always do it next time. But, I knew in my heart that it was my time and I wanted to honor God by showing up today, as ill prepared as I felt.
I made my way past my four children, my daughter’s friend and my husband and walked all the way around the congregation and out into the lobby. I was shaking and on the verge of tears in awe of what was happening. I came out and saw a friend of mine crying. I thought she was there to be baptized as well, but it was her husband who had decided to. We wept and hugged and it was beautiful.
Our church is amazingly organized as they had shirts and shorts for us to change into because obviously the handful of us who decided to do this were not prepared. I asked for our Worship Pastor Troy to baptize me, as we are friends through our shared mission trips to Mexico. As I walked toward him into the baptism pool, I could no longer hold back the tears. I was in awe of how the Lord had put this entire morning together.
It was in His timing and it was perfect. I saw several dear friends still in the sanctuary to witness my baptism. None of them knew that I was going to do this, but they had been called to stay. I heard a celeberatory scream as they announced my name and it made me smile inside. God had known my guest list after all.
What I realized is that we don’t need the party. We don’t need the right outfit or the manicured nails. We don’t need pictures or even video to commemorate such an important moment. What we need is to just say YES and put our faith into action.
When you have a daughter with an iPhone, you at least get this shot of your monumental moment.
God didn’t want me to wait to have everything lined up perfectly. He likes to make me uncomfortable and I like that about Him. He had chosen today as my baptism day long ago. I had felt that, but then let go of the plan as things seemed to not be falling into place like I had wanted. Today was yet another amazing testament to how God will move in your life if you just let go and let Him work things out in His perfect timing.
Living a great story involves changing the way we approach life. Attending the Storyline Conference helped me clarify what a meaningful life looks like and how life is my story to create.
I wasn’t familiar with Author and Storybrand founder Donald Miller until a friend introduced me to Storyline. I gained a lot during my time with him and I want to pass along that wisdom to you my friends.
